A Gila Moment

A Gila moment is sort of like a 'minties moment'. I guess you could say it is when I do something that is potentially embarrassing but I think this is understating it. It is when something occurs that could literally have been taken out of a movie because it is so cliched and predictably stupid and hilarious.
I usually laugh my head off at how these things happen to me apparently all the time.
Also to be included are moments where I think everything is perfect but there are crucial pieces of information missing which I only find out later thereby creating some melodrama out of literally nowhere.
Or when I do something which I know is risky, I achieve my goal but out of nowhere it goes pear shaped but not for the reason I thought it would, rather something else out of the ordinary that had never entered my wildest dreams or imagination.
Of course I can't forget the moments where everything seems normal, has the appearance of being potentially normal but of course it just isn't due to circumstances beying my control.
I throw my hands up in the air and declare "These things only happen to me" and then fall over in a fit of laughter.

Now you're going to want an example.

On Friday I was in a bakery shop buying something sweet to eat for Shabbat. I oticed a cute guy. He was wearing a kippah (tick), he was tall (tick) and did I mention he was cute? (tick). Now for the final test due to previous Gila moments did he have a ring? I neede to check this out...so I was peering over at him, trying to organise it so he would get to the counter when I did...that didn't quite work out. I paid for my purchase and turned around to walk out taking one last glance over in his direction when I felt something hard against me...it was the window of course. I had walked into the glass panel thinking it was the door.

A friendly on looker said to me when I looked perplexed trying to understand why I couldn't get outside. "They're clean the windows aren't they?''. I of course was praying and hoping cute guy did not notice as I quickly gathered myself to get out of the shop ASAP and as I was running away 5 mins later I realise that I forgot my purchase behind so I had to return. I was completely bewildered but at the same time hysterically laughing. He really took my breath away...and what does wearing a ring on the middle finger mean?

Another Gila moment which I am trying to deal with was how is it possible that I awas stung by a bee, whilst at a public pool...at first it was really painful to the point that I had to stop sunbaking and vacate the premises. For the next 3 hours have ice stuck to it...now it is just swollen probably also due to the heat wave we are experiencing in Jerusalem at the moment and I think I am slowly losing feeling in the finger as blood supply is compromised by the swelling.

Ah the joys.


Which leaves me with

Q&Q

The questions and questions that I really really hate and cannot deal with.
Where in America are you from?
Are you a Doctor?
Are you a Nurse?
Do you know anything?
No.

Mousetrap

So anyway, I am back from Turkey and I have started work again. I think I am allergic to full time work. Everyone is really happy to see me - I am a bit indifferent.
In Turkey, in the airport there was all these signs about how the Armenians ae fabricating their genocide...it seemed a bit out of place in an airport.
We were on a trip in Ephesus - the 2nd largest ancient city, we noted that the brothel was situated opposite library with a tunnel linking them. At the end of our tour, the tour guide noticed that oen guy was missing. We waited at the arranged meeting point for ages, he didn't tun up. We made our way to the place where we were appointed to have lunch and apparently he had turned up there looking for us but then he left. The tour guide took a final roll call before we went back at the end of the day and when he got to this guy's name he said "David? David is Lost". I really hope he is safe somewhere in Turkey. It was actually a bit entertaining but tragic at the same time.

Back in Israel after dealing with greasy workmen who fixed our pipes in the apartment and also were just a bit slimy - there was no need for the demonstration on how he knows what pressure points are. Besides disturbing me, he also disturbed a mouse (rat according to Louise). After the intial freak out and locking myself in my room, I called Dave who looked on the internet about how to catch a mouse for me. After waiting some time in vain for the mouse to eat the chocolate in my devious plan I abondoned ship packed up and went to Susie. Luckily Wolf came and saved the day and now I hope our place is mouse/rat free.

I am a bit on edge.

12

I have been tagged to list 12 reasons I love most about Israel/ 12 reasons why I made Aliyah. Usually I don't do these chain/tag things but I am feeling re-juvenated after just hearing a Drasha by Rav Benny Lau over Shabbat. Also after just coming back from Australia again, I went through the usual questioning and thought process why leave the Sydney?

1) It made no sense.

2) No one stopped me.