A Gila Moment

A Gila moment is sort of like a 'minties moment'. I guess you could say it is when I do something that is potentially embarrassing but I think this is understating it. It is when something occurs that could literally have been taken out of a movie because it is so cliched and predictably stupid and hilarious.
I usually laugh my head off at how these things happen to me apparently all the time.
Also to be included are moments where I think everything is perfect but there are crucial pieces of information missing which I only find out later thereby creating some melodrama out of literally nowhere.
Or when I do something which I know is risky, I achieve my goal but out of nowhere it goes pear shaped but not for the reason I thought it would, rather something else out of the ordinary that had never entered my wildest dreams or imagination.
Of course I can't forget the moments where everything seems normal, has the appearance of being potentially normal but of course it just isn't due to circumstances beying my control.
I throw my hands up in the air and declare "These things only happen to me" and then fall over in a fit of laughter.

Now you're going to want an example.

On Friday I was in a bakery shop buying something sweet to eat for Shabbat. I oticed a cute guy. He was wearing a kippah (tick), he was tall (tick) and did I mention he was cute? (tick). Now for the final test due to previous Gila moments did he have a ring? I neede to check this out...so I was peering over at him, trying to organise it so he would get to the counter when I did...that didn't quite work out. I paid for my purchase and turned around to walk out taking one last glance over in his direction when I felt something hard against me...it was the window of course. I had walked into the glass panel thinking it was the door.

A friendly on looker said to me when I looked perplexed trying to understand why I couldn't get outside. "They're clean the windows aren't they?''. I of course was praying and hoping cute guy did not notice as I quickly gathered myself to get out of the shop ASAP and as I was running away 5 mins later I realise that I forgot my purchase behind so I had to return. I was completely bewildered but at the same time hysterically laughing. He really took my breath away...and what does wearing a ring on the middle finger mean?

Another Gila moment which I am trying to deal with was how is it possible that I awas stung by a bee, whilst at a public pool...at first it was really painful to the point that I had to stop sunbaking and vacate the premises. For the next 3 hours have ice stuck to it...now it is just swollen probably also due to the heat wave we are experiencing in Jerusalem at the moment and I think I am slowly losing feeling in the finger as blood supply is compromised by the swelling.

Ah the joys.


Which leaves me with