Sunday, November 26, 2006

Don't you love Sydney mum told me the other day that she thinks I should come back to Sydney jsut becuase I miss the shopping..."it's really surprising that you don't miss anyone at all, but you miss the shopping". I thought about that for a moment...maybe it's true...maybe I am romantisizing I stumbled upon this email I received about 2 years ago, I realised that maybe we alwyas complain about the place we live, and only really appreciate it when we leave it...

1. You can make over $100,000 per year and still can't afford a house.
2. You never bother looking at the train timetable because you know the drivers have never seen it either.
3. You order organic fruit and vegetables online, but eat out every night anyway.
4. You spend more money on your coffee machine than on your washing machine.
5. You spend $400+ per week for your room in an apartment with stunning harbour and beach views and European appliances; and spend a total of forty hours a week there, of which thirty seven are spent sleeping.
6. You contemplate calling a taxi from your home to where you managed to park your car the night before
7. You spend thirty minutes in a traffic jam next to a car that has more power going to its speakers than its wheels.
8. You know everyone's e-mail and mobile number but not their last name or
home address.
9. You can roll sushi, make pasta and keep your red curry paste recipe under lock and key... but couldn't roast a chicken to save your life.
10.Your taxi driver was a micro-surgeon before he emigrated to Australia.
11.Your co-worker tells you he/she has eight body piercings but none is visible.
12.You can't remember... is dope illegal?
13.You've been to more than one baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Driving Miss Daisy

I used to think it was a compliment that Natalie Shell used to say “Gila, can get anywhere in Sydney in 15 mins”, I thought it was a cute re-interpretation of Andy Warhol, just Gila style. Apparently she was not comparing my driving to the creation of a new and unique genre of seeing and experiencing the world – but rather trying to emphasise my need for speed.

For those who have been here from the beginning, you might remember that on the day that I made Aliyah, I was meant to appear in court, in order to defend my need for speed but instead I caught the plane to fulfill my Zionist dream – now that is dedication and sacrifice right there. Yes I admit I lost my license temporarily in Sydney, but time has passed and it was re-instated. I really feel that as a person who used to spend a minimum of 3 hours a day in a car, odds were that at some point I was going to come in contact with those Blue Heelers.

As a part of the absorption progress I am required to pass a driving test here. This is understandable, and fair. I don’t mind cause they do drive on the right hand side instead of the left (the correct way to drive). I have 3 years to change it over, most people did this while at Ulpan…I think I was too busy absorbing Israeli culture that I didn’t get a chance…I decided however that it has to be done. even though I will probably enver own a car here.

I went for lessons – 5 of them which is you know being on the safe side. Everyone knows that driving here is crazy. It’s all for one and one for all. So I was rightfully nervous. Truthfully it’s a bit weird – you’re not allowed to check your blindspot. The windscreen wiper thing is where the indicator should be, so I would keep on switching that on instead of indicating. There’s now a whole car on your right hand side, which you have to be careful about. I knew all of this and I absorbed it.

The day of the test arrived. I prayed that it wouldn’t rain so I would not have to negotiate between the indicator and the windscreen wipers. My driving examiner entered the car – he curled up on the front seat and made a few twitching movements that made him look like he had Turrets syndrome. I was driving really well – indicating, keeping to the right, checking my mirrors. Then came the traffic circle (roundabout, whatever). I approached at the appropriate speed, I entered it safely, and then you obviously wanna get out of the circle because cars are going to be coming behind you , but here they geniously have pedestrian crossings just before and after the circle which means if you were to stop it would be in the middle of the circle. Needless to say, I guess that little girl might have died if the examiner hadn’t of braked for me – but I think my failure was all her fault.

I never fail things. I am feeling very miserable.

The words of encouragement I received from loved ones included:
“You Loser”
“You obviously didn’t take enough lessons”
"Well you better not fail next time” and
“I would never have let you drive in Israel anyway”

Where is the love and support? I clearly could use some of that at the moment. You’d think that friends and family would be there for me in a time like this. I am really very disappointed and not in a good mood.

The even bigger problem is I can’t even do retail therapy cause there is just nothing even close to Oxford St here…just makes me more depressed. I need a coffee.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006


I guess you can tell that I am procrastinating, when I decide to update my blog. Yes I have my first presentation in hebrew for work and I kinda don't wanna think about for being Pagan...It was really just an excuse for a party...and it was a real party with paramedics and everything! I am trying to figure out why Ilana thought it would be scary to come dressed as me, but I think I will just let that one slide...
My thoughts drifted to thinking of eerie things last week to get into the mood...and witches names for some reason were popping into my head. I came up with the name Hephtsiba...and as it turned out the girl that I went to for Friday night, her name was Hephtsibah...wierd...
I always think that Haruki Murakami would freak out if he came to Israel with all the cats that are around... it would be like walking into some sort of freakish dream for him...I think he would lose control...I'd like to see it.
That's it for random Halloween related thoughts I think.