Sunday, January 29, 2012

Shabbat Etiquette

I have said for a long time, that one day I will write a book jsut about Friday night dinners...
Basically since we are all away from our families, we gather together on friday nights for group dinners, and eat with friends instead...but, who is invited? Who is bringing what? There is a whole etiquette that goes along with these meals...

Last week has seen the parting of four good friends (two couples) returning to America because they want to be closer to their family and also for job prospect's always hard when friends leave since you put in so much effort to make friendships...

We had our last suppers (friday night dinners) to say goodbye...and just to give you an insight into the antics, I am going to copy an email sent by one of the hostesses beofre the dinner, an insiders look into what goes on at these meals..

"If I am not mistaken you are all coming! Yay! If this is incorrect, please let me know.
We are saying 6:30. good?
address: no.30 1st floor (meaning go in the front door and up 1 flight). Please keep the front door a tad open bc it locks automatically from the inside.

If human behavior is in fact predictable, the night should go something like this:
First course will be some oogling and oggling at ben and ziggy and Shelley's newest shoes as Gila assigns seats for everyone and proposes an icebreaker for those who don't know each other. (Please come prepared with What is your favorite "Shit people say" video.) Followed by mike challenging pex to a drinking context (ariel will win). Yosef will prompt special guest star marni urman to tell us new developments in the field of the female vagina and will share the latest hippest shaving patterns. Elad will vehemently argue any point anyone makes until and after Susi tells him to fuck off. Shira will laugh at EVERYTHING as she mixes girly drinks for the chicks at the table (What can you do with Kahlua, Amarulla, mint chocolate, bailey's and lemoncello?) The parents at the table are bound to get into a descriptive discussion about their boy's poops which Elad will no doubt compare to his own. Eliane has been food coma shluffin on the sofa since some time mid-challah course and susi has started on dishes by now as well. For desert we will discuss the correct pronunciation of the word, "drawer" (hint: er is silent), Gila will reveal the correct pronunciation for her name (hint: the i is silent), and who can imitate Adina's accent best (hint: me). Mike will remind the table that in Texas woman and Mexicans are also forced to sit in the back of the bus which will prompt Marni to recite her Vagina Monologue... naked (What?!) I am attempting to make everything with consideration to Yosef's and Dave's allergies, Elad's stomach issues, and Shira's phobia of chicken on the bone (I remember!). (Dave-are you allergic to walnuts and/or almonds? If so, please bring your own dinner. Joking (mostly), but are you?) We have benched (maybe) and everyone is leaving. Yosef-hurry up and finish your food. The moment 3 stars appear in the sky sat night Shelley will post something nostalgic and witty on facebook about fri night and Eli Gurock will comment on it. Marni and Shira-Facebook is a social network which allows people who live far away from each other to maintain contact and keep updated with each other's lives...Please sign up so I can see your pretty faces!

Damn! Did I just roast you all right before I leave? LOVE YOU ALL! Tal Bagels brunch tomorrow ? Just Kidding!

<3 Talia"

Gonna miss them....


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