Driving Miss Daisy

I used to think it was a compliment that Natalie Shell used to say “Gila, can get anywhere in Sydney in 15 mins”, I thought it was a cute re-interpretation of Andy Warhol, just Gila style. Apparently she was not comparing my driving to the creation of a new and unique genre of seeing and experiencing the world – but rather trying to emphasise my need for speed.

For those who have been here from the beginning, you might remember that on the day that I made Aliyah, I was meant to appear in court, in order to defend my need for speed but instead I caught the plane to fulfill my Zionist dream – now that is dedication and sacrifice right there. Yes I admit I lost my license temporarily in Sydney, but time has passed and it was re-instated. I really feel that as a person who used to spend a minimum of 3 hours a day in a car, odds were that at some point I was going to come in contact with those Blue Heelers.

As a part of the absorption progress I am required to pass a driving test here. This is understandable, and fair. I don’t mind cause they do drive on the right hand side instead of the left (the correct way to drive). I have 3 years to change it over, most people did this while at Ulpan…I think I was too busy absorbing Israeli culture that I didn’t get a chance…I decided however that it has to be done. even though I will probably enver own a car here.

I went for lessons – 5 of them which is you know being on the safe side. Everyone knows that driving here is crazy. It’s all for one and one for all. So I was rightfully nervous. Truthfully it’s a bit weird – you’re not allowed to check your blindspot. The windscreen wiper thing is where the indicator should be, so I would keep on switching that on instead of indicating. There’s now a whole car on your right hand side, which you have to be careful about. I knew all of this and I absorbed it.

The day of the test arrived. I prayed that it wouldn’t rain so I would not have to negotiate between the indicator and the windscreen wipers. My driving examiner entered the car – he curled up on the front seat and made a few twitching movements that made him look like he had Turrets syndrome. I was driving really well – indicating, keeping to the right, checking my mirrors. Then came the traffic circle (roundabout, whatever). I approached at the appropriate speed, I entered it safely, and then you obviously wanna get out of the circle because cars are going to be coming behind you , but here they geniously have pedestrian crossings just before and after the circle which means if you were to stop it would be in the middle of the circle. Needless to say, I guess that little girl might have died if the examiner hadn’t of braked for me – but I think my failure was all her fault.

I never fail things. I am feeling very miserable.

The words of encouragement I received from loved ones included:
“You Loser”
“You obviously didn’t take enough lessons”
"Well you better not fail next time” and
“I would never have let you drive in Israel anyway”

Where is the love and support? I clearly could use some of that at the moment. You’d think that friends and family would be there for me in a time like this. I am really very disappointed and not in a good mood.

The even bigger problem is I can’t even do retail therapy cause there is just nothing even close to Oxford St here…just makes me more depressed. I need a coffee.