Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Remembering to miss you.

It's funny how distance changes relationships.
Sitting here in Israel far far away from Australia I often think about this. I think about the way that the 'status' of some of my relationships with friends and family too changes and is changing.
There are friends that I have had for years and I might not be in contact with them, but when I see them we fall into a groove and it's ok that we haven't written to each other every week.
There are others that I expected to be in better contact with, and I am disappointed with them that we are not, despite my efforts. Perhaps there is this occurrence in reverse and I am not aware.
of course, there are people who I write to regularly, irregularly and almost daily...the motivation, the necessity and the pattern...interests me.
How do you decide who to stay in touch with...is this even an active decision. Who do I still talk to? Who do I classify as important? Is there a sub-conscious classifcation system?
The management of friends due to facebook/skype has revolutionised the staying in contact procedure...I don't remember birthdays...facebook does this for me according to some logarithm I see certain people's photos...and others I don't. Some people may have de-friended me and I am unaware...

Why all the musings??
I guess because when I moved I didn't realise that I was signing up for all these changes...What did I expect then? I don't know...I guess I didn't want things to change...
On the one hand I have met so many people, and I have great friends...on the other hand...there's a lot of people who I am sad that our lives no longer cross...that I don't know what they are doing on a daily basis....and despite technology...nothing can compensate from sitting across the table from them and a cup of coffee on a lazy Sunday morning...because when you do this, you build an experience with them and a memory...what I am upset about is the fact that a person who was once in my memories...no longer features day to day, I feel perhaps I am losing the opportunities for making memories...with people who I value...

I am happy that I am here and experiencing all these different experiences...I guess what I am saying is...you don't always realise when you go away or when you leave that perhaps you might miss someone...or something...it exists a hole...it is not filled with others, it may be reduced but it just is.

It's ok, it's normal, it hurts a bit, but I guess that's how you know that you are human, that you care. Certain moments you may remember this...but most of the time you don't and you go about your everday activities until you see a random picture...until someone mentions something routine that reminds you of a private joke with someone else...and their memory rises from some dusty corner in your mind...which gives meaning to an otherwise uneventful day...

and I smile when I think of you and I wonder if you do the same.

1 Comments:

Blogger Sabz said...

Hey Gila.. Just came acroos your blog.. Loved this Post.. I so identify with everything you wrote in here. I feel the same way ever since I moved to New Delhi from Mumbai..

Cheers

Sabz

10:07 AM  

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