Gila's Big Adventure

Shabbat Etiquette

2012-01-29T12:31:00.000-08:00

I have said for a long time, that one day I will write a book jsut about Friday night dinners...

Basically since we are all away from our families, we gather together on friday nights for group dinners, and eat with friends instead...but, who is invited? Who is bringing what? There is a whole etiquette that goes along with these meals...

Last week has seen the parting of four good friends (two couples) returning to America because they want to be closer to their family and also for job prospect reasons...it's always hard when friends leave since you put in so much effort to make friendships...

We had our last suppers (friday night dinners) to say goodbye...and just to give you an insight into the antics, I am going to copy an email sent by one of the hostesses beofre the dinner, an insiders look into what goes on at these meals..

"If I am not mistaken you are all coming! Yay! If this is incorrect, please let me know.

We are saying 6:30. good?

address: no.30 1st floor (meaning go in the front door and up 1 flight). Please keep the front door a tad open bc it locks automatically from the inside.

If human behavior is in fact predictable, the night should go something like this:

First course will be some oogling and oggling at ben and ziggy and Shelley's newest shoes as Gila assigns seats for everyone and proposes an icebreaker for those who don't know each other. (Please come prepared with What is your favorite "Shit people say" video.) Followed by mike challenging pex to a drinking context (ariel will win). Yosef will prompt special guest star marni urman to tell us new developments in the field of the female vagina and will share the latest hippest shaving patterns. Elad will vehemently argue any point anyone makes until and after Susi tells him to fuck off. Shira will laugh at EVERYTHING as she mixes girly drinks for the chicks at the table (What can you do with Kahlua, Amarulla, mint chocolate, bailey's and lemoncello?) The parents at the table are bound to get into a descriptive discussion about their boy's poops which Elad will no doubt compare to his own. Eliane has been food coma shluffin on the sofa since some time mid-challah course and susi has started on dishes by now as well. For desert we will discuss the correct pronunciation of the word, "drawer" (hint: er is silent), Gila will reveal the correct pronunciation for her name (hint: the i is silent), and who can imitate Adina's accent best (hint: me). Mike will remind the table that in Texas woman and Mexicans are also forced to sit in the back of the bus which will prompt Marni to recite her Vagina Monologue... naked (What?!) I am attempting to make everything with consideration to Yosef's and Dave's allergies, Elad's stomach issues, and Shira's phobia of chicken on the bone (I remember!). (Dave-are you allergic to walnuts and/or almonds? If so, please bring your own dinner. Joking (mostly), but are you?) We have benched (maybe) and everyone is leaving. Yosef-hurry up and finish your food. The moment 3 stars appear in the sky sat night Shelley will post something nostalgic and witty on facebook about fri night and Eli Gurock will comment on it. Marni and Shira-Facebook is a social network which allows people who live far away from each other to maintain contact and keep updated with each other's lives...Please sign up so I can see your pretty faces!

Damn! Did I just roast you all right before I leave? LOVE YOU ALL! Tal Bagels brunch tomorrow ? Just Kidding!

<3 Talia"

Gonna miss them....

Challenge

2012-01-24T05:50:00.000-08:00

A friend who used to live in Israel, came back for a visit...
We sat down, and I asked him if he missed Israel?
He said that coming back has made him realise all the reasons why he left and that he made the right decision to go back to New York...all the little things like lack of customer service and that everything here is a challenge, a struggle and he jsut wants everythign to work the way it's supposed to. Not that his life is any picnic, he is doing a Masters and running a restaurant or two which comes with its own set of ordeals...

I thought about it for a while...am I an idiot for staying, the way he describes it, it makes me think twice...why am I still here, why struggle in another language, and try to break barriers that don't even exist in Australia...

I thought about it...and...I guess those are exactly the reasons why I stay and why I am proud whenever I do achieve something, because I could do all the exact same things in Australia, but isn't it cool that I am doing them in Israel instead...that is the challenge, that is the dream...

Shit Jewish Girls Say

2012-01-13T08:34:00.000-08:00

First of all, my entry for last goes like this...

My Dog died...in Australia...after beign with my family for nearly 20 years. It's really freaking sad.

Entry for this week goes like this:

All those you tube movies which are going viral now, "shit girls say" etc etc, they're funny.

I thought of doing "shit Jewish girls say" but then I didn't.

The things I say all the time like "whatsup buttercup", "It's a pleasure treasure", "heaps", "I can't be bothered", "blah blah blah...nah nah nah nah nah" and "bubbles" are my trademarks, and they are not particularly Jewish...so like I said before, I thought about it but then I didn't do it.

Been thinking about trademarks and being original...there's a fine line between people copying you, being flattered and stalking...It's funny who annoys you and who doesn't...I would expand but I have decided not to.

I got a new years message from someone that I didn't expect to and it made me smile :)

Happy Xnuka

2011-12-22T22:20:00.000-08:00

I had a fun week making Latkes for my girls, and buying things for my apartment.
Now I get to prepare for my Chanukat Bayit B'Chanukah (Housewarming on Chanukah).

There's lots of variations of Seasons Greetings going around so I thought I would add one into the mix that I stole from a friend (Thanks Jeremy if you're reading).

Looking forward to lots of celebrations in the year to come, so much fun!

Adaptation

2011-12-12T22:42:00.000-08:00

Shalom,

I know it's early, but the truth is I have the time for a mid-week update so I thought why not, the point is to get me writing again.

So I freaked out when this week when I downloaded the moth and the theme of the podcast was "Into the Wild", How did they know that was what I wrote about last week? AS I was late in downloading it, they had already produced it, when I wrote the 'Into the Wild' entry...CRAZY!! Great creative minds think alike....

Meanwhile, in their episode they got people to jot down what their greatest survival skill is....and I think that mine is Adaptation...I wish it could be camouflage...but my red hair prevents that...

This is why...
This week, I woke up with my list of all the goals that I wanted to get done...just on Sunday. One of them was to spray paint these plastic butterflies that I had bought to hang on my wall, when I was in America. I had everything ready, and when I went to look for teh butterflies I couldn't find them. I turned my entire apartment upside down and car looking for them. I got more and more frustrated that I would not be able to achieve everything I set out to do that day, not to mention the loss of the butterflies, which I had envisioned to go perfectly on the wall in my room.

I did manage to find two rogue butterflies, which had clearly been separated from their flock...for some reason. For one or two days I got annoyed every time I saw them, becasue they reminded me of my loss...until this morning I decided that they would be a great start to my new butterfly collection. Now I could go hunting butterflies and collecting many different varietes, instead of just having a wall of all the same ones!! WOohOO!!

My loss has turned into an adventure!! This afternoon I might go around Yaffo to the markets, to look for some butteflies!!

Some Israeli Music:
Boom Pam
Giraffot
Efrat Gosh
The Apples
DAniela Spector
Roni Dalomi
Avraham Tal
Gazoz

Into the Wild

2011-12-01T22:41:00.000-08:00

This week I watched the movie 'Into the Wild' and it really affected me. I picked up the film at the video shop and I didn't really read the back of it because it was in Hebrew and I couldn't be bothered, so I thought it was an adventure coming fo age film and took it. I didn't realise how sad it was going to be and how it permeated into my week.

Now that I live by myself and I have more 'alone' time, for teh first time in my life ever, I love that I come home and no one bothers me but at the same time, I am a social person, and I love having people around...The thing about making Aliyah by yourslef is, that you leave all these things that you took for granted like family behind, and so you have to build for yourself a replacement family, which is why I think that a lot of Anglos's stick together since we are all going through a common experience.

When I was moving apartments and I had a few weeks inbetween where I would be homeless, I stayed at a friend of mine who let me dump a whole lot of my stuff at her place, and it worked out that she was away on holiday while I was there the first week, then I went to Italy when she got back, and then when I got back she went away for work, so it wasn't too much of a hassle but the fact that I was able to do that was nice.

Next week that same friend needs to have a small procedure done under general anaesthetic and she asked me to drive her there and back. It wasn't even a question that I would hesitate to answer, of course I would take her. As Meredith and Christine would say we have become each others 'person'. I don't think that in Australia I would ever have done this for a friend, just because, it is not required, everyone has their family around them for support, so the level of friendship is just different. Not that this diminishes or makes another more important, rather that there is just a different dynmaic going on...and you also learn very quickly who you can count on, and who you can't because we just simply need people.

So watching the movie made me think about all this, and how lucky I am that I have found people here, made amazing friends in the absence of family. I often think that my life is so rich because people are like colours who make the picture more interesting, give depth and change your perspective on something that otherwise might ahve jsut passed you by, so I like collecting them, and I think I will continue to do that.

In other news this week I visited the
new building of the Tel-Aviv Museum of Art and I have to say that I was impressed!!

A Story Worthy Week...

2011-11-24T22:36:00.000-08:00

The Moth is a Storytelling podcast that has grown to have a bit of a cult following in America...at the end of each show they wish their listeners to have 'a story worthy week'. Everytime I hear them say that, I think to myself, often inspired after listening to the latest episode, that yes, I want a story worthy week!

In an attempt to revive my writing I have decided to write down a story of the week, it an effort also to do a bit of reflection and cleansing as well on the week gone by...
Also now that I am in my own apartment in Tel Aviv, I feel that I now have a creative space, a 'room of my own', where I can just be.

BAck in August, my favourite event of the year, the wine festival, was held at the ISrael Museum. A veteran of 6 wine festivals, I know what shoes to wear, which buses and their timetable to there etc etc...I have the event down pat. I decided this year, in preparation, for an event which I take quite seriously, I would get my hair done for the occasion, since it needed a cut anyway. I should be specific and say for the Thursday night of the festival, because although I had to been to 3 of the 4 nights during the week, Thursday night is purely social and not much quaffing goes on.

I was prancing around the festival, clinking glasses with whoever I thought was cute...and I met a REALLY cute guy...we hit it off, chatted, he asked me out on one or two dates, but it lost momentum because he was in the army and a few other reasons...which are not relevant right now...the point is...I was happy that I got my hair done.

What does this have to do with this week?
On Wednesday night, I attended the wedding of an old Jerusalem friend (funny how I can say 'old', when really these friends are all new), and for the occasion I thought, I should get my hair done...so off I trek to the hairdresser and I get my hair done. It looked really nice with curls at the end. It looked so nice, I decided not to wash it the next day.

Last night (Thurs), I went to the 'Lone Soldiers' Thanksgiving dinner, because a good friend of mine, who I did my Masters with, her husband helped found the organisation. Wandering around the event,I bumped into that same guy and all I could think was...atleast my hair looks good!

This thought then progressed to, everytime I want to see him do I have to go to the hairdresser? I can't afford that....

What's wierd is that, I was with another friend of mine and then we went to drink a glass of wine in Neve Tzedek and she bumped into a guy that she hadn't seen in ages...and the first thing she said to me was "Does my hair look good?".

What is with that?

Also a shout out to Esther who has a really cool podcast.

There I did it....

New Year Celebrations 5772

2011-10-12T11:55:00.001-07:00

Dearest Friends,

It's that time of year again to wish you a Shana Tova UMetukah...
Over the past summer I have noticed that I have been honoured to share in the celebration of life events from all different ends of the spectrum, with people in Israel.
It hits me now and again at a wedding, how special I feel to be invited, because these are all new friends, who I have known for a short amount of time. It builds a feeling of family, and connection as you share your special 'kodak' moments with people, for after all, life is about making memories with people that you care about...which makes me ponder...

At the same time is struck me that I must be missing out on the same events with people that I care about in Sydney, (you guys), which makes me a little sad to be removed from the day to day events and milestones that are being achieved by all of you, that I am unfortunately not around to share with you...so I get a little bit homesick, because I so badly still want to know about what is going on, despite the communication that we do have, there is no substitue for just being there....

While we are growing from year to year, and our paths are diverse, I wanted you to know that, I think about this a lot, and the tension that I feel being caught between two places, two lives is real...and hits you at obscure moments, and I catch myself wondering every now and again...how did I even get here? It's so bizarre that I am on a top of a mountain in Israel because don't I belong somewhere on Yarabah Avenue? The distance suddenly becomes tangible.

I hope that the new year brings you all an opportunity to celebrate and it is one of my hopes to share in your celebrations in some form or another....

Blessings, Peace and Love...

Gila xx

New City

2011-02-09T15:10:00.000-08:00

Tel Aviv...White Concrete Jungle where 'IF you will it, it is no dream'
I'm at Metzizim on the rocks by the beach and then down at Yaffo on a hill overlooking the water and I catch myslef thinking...How did I get here...
There's Creativity
People walking the streets at any hour...whenever I am walking home, I am wondering where everyone else is going. Maybe I should be going there too... Oh the Places I could go...
On a Friday, I might go to the Farmers Market at the Namal and buy pickles and bok choy.
Sometimes I find a New Gallery which I plan to go to...but end up somewhere else

Driving back and forth has introduced me the world of podcasts...and I listen to This AMerican Life/ The Moth/ The New Yorker Fiction and there are some ABC books and language shows that I listen to sometimes...there were some episodes about being a migrant in AUstralia, a New Zealand woman talking about home and culture...where she belongs.

For the first time living in Tel Aviv I really feel like an immigrant...because it is more Israeli...In Jerusalem, I was in such a close knit town of 'Olim' immigrants...An Anglo Bubble...Whereas in the actual Bubble, הבועה, in the city...immigrants are not the dominant species...which makes you feel like you stand out, as well as the fact that you are just another face, in the crowd, so where am I anyway?

I'm here. It's a New City.

Old City

2010-09-19T11:29:00.001-07:00

As my move to Tel Aviv approaches, I'm brooding.
Will I fit in? I don't have a tattoo or a dog or a bike? I'm getting nostalgic, thinking about memory...and how it functions...you remember someone, something or places, when there is a remnant that is left behind with you...it seems simple but unless there is a souvenir...we forget...we cut ties...it all becomes a haze...
The souvenirs, can weigh us down and become heavy...what do we take with us, what do we throw away? When making Aliyah after clearing out, and disposing of major sections of my life, I chanced upon the exhibition of Andy Warhol's Time Capsules which gave me a whole new perspective of how to view memory and objects. Now, I am again, going through my belongings, selecting, spring cleaning my mind and time capsuling other thoughts...

Here's what I am taking with me at the moment:

The Soundscape:
A Muezzin’s call to prayer, Church Bells ringing and a Wailing Wall
O’Jerusalem, I’m caught somewhere in amongst your layers
I am hard pressed to find some space to place my feet where someone great has not.
Technicolour dreams, play, stop and rewind, in my head
flavouring the memories to be sweeter than they really are.
I exhale, only to breathe you in, intoxicating; I am drunk on your presence…
There’s a wrinkled man who earned every line on his face,
he serves me Turkish coffee in a Moroccan glass cup, and I sober up.
In the hubbub of the Shuk, I see your face; I rotate, fragment and pixelate to focus.
in between the cracks, down the alley way echoes of your memory.
There are nine parts of beauty bestowed unto you and the prickly people
witness your crescendos in time, diminishing, diminuendos cycles of hope.
In charcoal sketches of a lover, rough and ready, a pureness that maybe divine
your beauty shines, hues of pink at sunset, of gold.
Beat, space, feet, pace…your cobblestone streets...
I’m a wandering, waiting for a prophetic vision, a star to guide me in your night and come to peace, I want a place inside you, ownership of a power greater than being.
Your naked roof tops ascending and the modern sky breaks through -
here you lie, eternal in my eyes.

Punctuation

2010-09-12T00:50:00.000-07:00

There are 3 situations in which we recite שהחיינו

1) On a new purchase e.g. new clothes

2) When performing certain mitzvoth such as Megillah, Lulav and Brit Milah

3) On a festival that hasn’t been celebrated in a year

Rabbis’ debate about the meaning behind this blessing that enables us to understand the nature of its intention, and how it is applicable to all 3 situations yet excludes others.

It is interesting to note in the first case, if you buy something new with someone else like a house, then you do not say שהחיינו, but rather הטוב ומטיב. From this we learn that שהחיינו is an individual blessing, and applies to an object that is related to the individual alone and not one that includes others as well.

In the 2nd situation, it is explained that we recite שהחיינו for certain mitzvoth such as on a lulav, Pidyon ha-Ben and Megillah. It could be explained that they merit the blessing because these are occasions might be seen as rare, or that there is an element of שמחה ‘happiness’ that is associated with them and therefore we might ascertain that any mitzvah that has an element of sumach qualifies for שהחיינו, but this is not the case.

In the 3rd situation there is discussion as to if you say שהחיינו only on the 3 רגלים or also on Rosh Hashanah/Yom Kippur, as in any occasion that occurs once a year and adds an element of timing to the blessing. This is why we only say שהחיינו on fruit and not vegetables, as vegetables are available all year round, whereas fruit is seasonal.

The question remains though what is the link that these 3 situations all have in common that explains the significance of this blessing?

The explanation that I relate to the best is from the Kesef Mishneh (Yosef Caro), who comments that שהחיינו is actually a prayer of gratitude and thanksgiving and not a blessing. It is possible to look at the purchases, special occasions and festivals, in a way that makes us grateful for the opportunity of realising that moment or individual aspiration. By understanding that שהחיינו is a prayer rather than a blessing, it changes our intention when we say it, to almost be one of hope and yearning for snapshots where we obtain, celebrate or commemorate the fact that we have simply arrived at that juncture. We are demonstrating that when given the opportunity to be grateful, we grab it, in the hope that if we behave in this way, we will be presented with more opportunities in the year ahead, we pray rather than bless.

In this vein, along the course of time, tradition has developed to encompass the שהחיינו prayer in our rituals where it is not halachically required, but the custom has developed for its inclusion. For example underneath the Chuppah, where we make an excuse for the chatan to say the blessing even though it is not necessary and interestingly enough does not encompass the kalah as it is an individual prayer. We are searching for ways in which to be thankful, and almost requesting that we may chance upon more achievements, mitzvoth and moments, whereby we are able to recognise the importance of just being in the moment. This prayer however has grown to become a symbol of appreciation and uniqueness when presented with something in our lives that intends for us to take a step back from the flow, a purposeful break

Along these sentiments, an explanation that I would like to share is that I view שהחיינו as a prayer that is like punctuation.

The Torah was given to us without punctuation, as a scroll of words, yet there is a strong tradition of how we are meant to read from it, which is very strict. The trop which are the musical notes to which the torah is read aloud, allows us to interpret where to pause, where to put a comma, a full stop, which words to accentuate and therefore adds meaning. Without punctuation the Torah is just a string of words put together.

When we are told ‘לא בשמים היא’ that the torah is no longer in heaven and it is in our hands, I believe that this is some way saying, that it is for us to add the punctuation, to interpret it and derive meaning. This enables us to discuss, to create and to make it our own personal torah. We are given the free choice to read the text, we can hear how it was originally meant to be said and but we still have the opportunity to punctuate it for ourselves. Which is unique compared to any other religious text.

Saying שהחיינו I would like to suggest is like enacting a semi-colon in your life. The use of a semi-colon in grammar, links an idea from the first part of a sentence to the next, it provides a break, an opportunity to pause enough to reflect and then move on into a totally new concept that is however inextricably linked to the previous statement. A semi-colon joins two concepts to make them one, however after passing the a semi-colon, and reading the 2nd part of the sentence, the first half will never be the same as when it stood by itself and changes its meaning entirely.

There are two other major things that I view as having punctuated my life and added meaning. Aliyah is not just starting a new chapter, it is the turning of a book from back to front, along comes with it a language of its own where English grammar does not apply in the conventional sense and the punctuation is pure guesswork.

I recently just read the amazing short stories of Jhumpa Lahiri….she writes about the immigrant experience of a man who lived on 3 continents, who grew up in Benegal, who studied in London and eventually moved to America to work. It is a simple story but she conjures up a world whereby we experience it in the most moving and incredible way. The story ends with his reflection which encapsulates my feelings about Aliyah perfectly.

“I know my achievement is quite ordinary. I am not the only man to seek his fortune far from home, and certainly I am not the first. Still there are times I am bewildered by each mile I have travelled, each meal I have eaten, each person I have known, and each room in which I have slept. As ordinary as it all appears, there are times when it is beyond my imagination”. (From the story ‘The Third and Final Continent”).

The other punctuation that colours my life and I hope colours your lives is family and friendship in other words our relationships and encounters with other people. People that have crossed my path are perhaps like emoticons…they pop up as yellow circles here and there and colour otherwise plain text…they can have smiley faces, stick out their tongues, cry or give you a flower but they have revolutionised the usage of colons and semi-colons forever.

The importance that I would like to emphasise is that we have the choice as to how we punctuate our lives. We can choose to add, capital letters to make people important. We can place question marks where we are unsure. We can finish off chapters and tuck away, events, people or places. We can move on and start new chapters, begin new friendships and choose to turn over a new page. Rosh Hashanah maybe a semi-colon that provides you with a pause that lets you reflect about where you were last year. I find this particularly significant, when we think about that over the next 10 days we are asking to be signed in the book of life, we want to be added to a list but in what style will we be written. Will we be the first? Will we be underlined? Will we be added last as a scribble and afterthought? In what way do our actions influence what font our name appears?

We have the choice as to who we let in, how we let others treat us, and how we behave in return. We have the choice as to what events we place emphasis on, as to whether we care enough about issues to raise our hands up and take a stance. We have a choice about whether to engage in discussion, argument or be passive. We have a choice as to whether or not to love or to hate. We have choice to apologise or hold a grudge. We have a choice to make things better or make things worse. We can put in effort, we can give people a chance, we can try new things, or we can sit in a box and watch the world go by unpunctuated.

I have always believed that only special people are granted with the strength to make Aliyah, and be subject the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. I am truly honoured to say שהחיינו in the presence of you all tonight, for the punctuation and therefore meaning that you add by being here to share this meal, in the appreciation that this moment has arrived in the knowledge of all that has been, and during the semi-colon that connects last year to next I hope that we may all be inscribed in bold in the book of life together.

Again

2010-07-03T12:03:00.000-07:00

Hello...
I know I know...if only I could write down all the blogs that I compose in my head....and don't write...then perhaps this might be a bit more effective...
Here's what I'm listening to:

Happy Times...Birthdays...Visits from friends and family...the summer makes me smile...
SO interesting, being on holiday in Israel with my parents, who oogle at everything, my father who has to understand everything that is going on around him. It reminded me of how lucky I am to live here...walking around the Old City, eating in kosher restaurants...are all things I take for granted and don't think twice about, whereas, people make pilgrimages to Israel from thousands of miles away, for a few days for a taste of the life that I live everyday. It's hard, it's challenging and there are ups and downs, but at the end of the day, how cool is it that I am here??? Our touring highlight - Driving an electric car: http://www.betterplace.com/

Remembering Gilad Shalit...his family are marching across the country at the moment...
http://www.habanim.org/en/index_en.html

Going with the flow....Looking for opportunity...experiencing art...eating good food...drinking good wine...with friends...who entertain me. Life is good.

:)

Israel Culture

2010-04-27T12:35:00.001-07:00

Love the summer...After divulging in my first watermelon of the season on Yom Haatzmaut at the perfect bbq in Herzliya by the pool...I am now waiting for my sign that the summer has begun, the watermelon man to open his stand next to the Petrol station on the corner...I already have a sunburn as I try to gradually tan myself for my best friends wedding...one of six weddings inbetween now and October...another wedding, another excuse for a dress...I should get something out of them too!!!

Anyway...after celebrating this country's Birthday, it's always good to re-new your love for the culture with a few good links to blogs/websites which explore the scene and open it up to you...

Food: matkonation
Culture: midnighteast magazine
Art: Omanoot

Enjoy my friends...as Summer creeps closer...all the festivals and visitors (my parents) are coming out to play...not to mention Birthdays! Bring it on!

The Four Sons - The Four Stages of Aliyah

2010-04-03T10:12:00.000-07:00

After a bit of a hiatus....here are my latest thoughts...
A friend of mine organised a seder for young professionals in Tel Aviv, it was a great experience and at the seder I gave a drasha on the four sons and how they relate to four stages of Aliyah.
I thought I would put it here, because I liked it, and I think that anyone that is trawling the internet for ALiyah stuff might come across it...The story of Pesach is essentially a story of immigration and perhaps the first Aliyah (not including Abraham) it as appropriate at this time to reflect upon Aliyah and it's processes.

Next week will be my 5 year Aliyah anniversary, I was very adament at the time to make Aliyah before Pesach much to the chagrin of my mother, who wanted me to stay with the family for the festival, it just didn't make sense to me at the time if I had the chance to be in Israel for Pesach, why wouldn't I? 5 years on I realise how important and limited time with family can be, and I am thankful for any time I have with them, but I am still equally lucky to be here in Israel today.

The Wise Son - Preparation:
The wise son is inquisitive, he wants to know about the way that the traditions are observed and he asks questions. The first stage of Aliyah is Preparation, before you leave, you ask a lot of questions...What's it like in Israel? What will I do there? Where will I go? You might come and visit to check things out, the preparation process involves a lot of asking people a lot of questions to find out how you can make Israel work for you.

The Wicked Son - Separation:
The wicked son separates himself and asks What does all this mean to you? By the same token there is a definite process of separation from friends and family which is experienced when you make Aliyah whereby a lot of your ideology is challenged as people ask you Why are you making Aliyah? What does it mean to you? This is a process whereby people are trying to relate to you, and understand the decision that you have made, the very core of their question though, insinuates that this is your decision and not theirs. A separation must occur on some level between what and who you are leaving behind whether it be superficial by just getting on a plane or a deeper severing of ties. What does this mean to you? Is symbolic of the explanation that your community immediate and further afield needs in order to understand the separation that is going to take place.

The Simple Son - Re-orientation:
Upon arrival there is a very overwhelming state whereby you rush around to a million differnet places and offices sorting out beaurocracy and so forth, health insurance, identity cards, Ulpan and what not. During this time, you are almost unable to think for yourself, and you often just find the simplest of things complicated and you need to continually ask...What is this? How do I do this? From catching a bus to changing over your drivers license, you need to ask simple questions otherwise you can land up catching the bus to the middle of nowhere and be stuck in line waiting for the bank to open when it's closed anyway.

The Son who is unable to ask - Absorption:
Once the paperwork is all sorted out, you have a place to live, and you can breathe a bit. Slowly slowly, you may find yourslef taking a step back in order to figure out where it is that you fit in. You find yourself observing what other people do, where they go shopping, what they are wearing, what they are eating, and by doing that you find your own way. Observing the customs of the new and different environment that you find yourself plunged into, is a key part in order to find where you yourself fit in. Some people feel the need to force themselves to be a part of everything, and give themselves deadlines and unnecessary external pressure to fit in...but finding yourself is a process...best achieved by looking at all the options, trying things on for size, and seeing what suits you best!

All these stages, Preparation, Separation, Re-orientation and Absorption, have no fit time schedule. They are processes and each need to be done in their own time. The essential message though, above all, is that unless you ask, you are never going to get anywhere, these principles are not acheived by themselves...any help that you can get along the way is worthwhile and don't be afraid to ask, because this is the way of the world, if you want to move forward we have learned as a people to ask, to accept help where it comes and make the most of opportunities that present themselves...

There is an unshakeable feeling that I get of late, when I sit down at a meal with friends on Shabbat and Chagim....how lucky we are, to have each other to share with, how much more meaningful it is to be in a community whereby a collective acknowledges one another...how lucky I am to be here at this moment in time...free...and this is not something which is independant. Freedom is a collective achievement attributed to family, friends and community, who ask, who share, who lean on each other, who give and take and that's the way the world goes round.

Rage against the Machine

2010-01-15T05:33:00.000-08:00

First a plug for Israeli music....For those Aussie's who like the haunting sound of Holly Throsby and vocals of Sarah Blasko...check out Daniella Spector:

So lately in the supermarket I have been encountering ISraeli Society and by this I mean confronting it.
Standing in line, I leave my Shopping cart/trolley to go and get something I had forgotten. I came back to find that someone had pushed in front of me, and had left their cart/trolley as well.
So I swapped them around. Upon her return, she confronted me and explained loudly that she just didn't see the cart/trolley...I guess I imagined it, she concurred...I did not...I don't understand why Israeli's can't wait in line I posited..she huffed back with a 'I hate Americans" to which I got really annoyed "I AM NOT AMERICAN"....

The next week waiting in line...a gentleman, starts chatting to me...and is flabbergasted that I am here from halfway across the world, he can't understand what I am doing here...so I ask him what he is doing here...but my family...he responds...well, I guess I am meant to make one here...that's the point...I should really remember to do that...it's something I forgot to put on my shopping list...

This week...standing in line for the butcher counter...a butcher is cutting up whole chickens into pieces, the man behind me is getting antsy...why sin't he serving people, why is he cutting up the whole chickens, I want a whole chicken?? Very perplexed...He is insisting on calling the manager, and screaming, dancing up and down...why don't you just calm down I say, I don't think that if you scream louder that you will be served quicker....
Afterwards, roaming around the store, the butcher comes up to me and thanks me...No worries mate...I don't understand what he thought he was gaining, he agrees...even without a line they scream he says...

If I could bottle up all the rage in Israel, I could solve the world's energy crisis, and then I would turn the leftovers into water and make the Negev bloom.

Winter Musings...

2009-12-26T08:04:00.000-08:00

Avocadoes and Stawberries are a winter phenomenon that simply make me happy.
It's getting colder and I am privy to pics from NY of snow, I hear about White Christmases and I read facebook updates of friends from down under having beach bbq's...and I am enjoying a bit of mulled wine....
Funny how I sort of miss Christmas, funny, because I am Jewish...but there is definitely a consumer cheer conjured up by those wonderful marketing geniuses that I am a victim of, and everything seems to be joyous and happy for a while around the shopping centre's anyway, and I guess I was trying to re-capture that when I went with a friend to Christmas carols in the Old City. I figured that pilgrims around the world are not as priveliged as I am to have the cultural opportunity on their doorstep and it was interesting seeing the amount of Israeli tourists that were flooding the Old City also to get a glimpse of St Nicholas...

When I reported to an Israeli friend about my outing, they were impressed I think that such a thing was happening in their city, and that the public, Israeli/Jewish public were taking the opportunity to explore....I also informed them of the Municipalities initiative with the JNF (Jewish National Fund) to give away free Christmas trees...and their reaction was of being proud....when I sang them some carols, they were unfamiliar...

Sitting with friends at a traditional Shabbat dinner meal with mince pies, we talked about how our children will not watch Christmas cartoons and Christmas specials and will not sit on Santa's lap...and it's echoing in my head, the sounds of carols from Thursday night....there is something about familiarity which brings on nostalgia that somehow got confused in religion.

I think we verbalise/label it as tradition and when we perform it we call it a custom...these are the codes we use as reference, but what actually motivates us into it all? Belief or Belonging?
Observing from the side in that Church, I recognised people, who I knew, who had also come to 'observe'...and it made me feel a bit more comfortable...instead of sacriligious...one of the draws to going to synagogue is that like the word intends it is a 'meeting' place...and here I was with Hebrew writing on the Altar, and stained glass windows, the original purpose of the Protestant building was to bring in Jews for the purpose of conversion...So I caught myself...look what a catchy song has got me doing! Did I sin? That wasn't the intention....

Back to my neighourhood, in my place of prayer, I'm looking at a friend in the service, who inbetween prayer, is rather fervently going over pages in an ancient text, learning, actively engaging in 1000's of years of history....and I want to be connected to what he is connected to...
I want to belong, I want a history, I want meaning and purpose, which are basic motivations for all religion perhaps...let's throw some belief and faith in there too....he reminded me of another motivating factor for Aliyah...to be amongst my people, today linking past to present and building a future...and religion is somewhere in that mix...chucked in to confuse and clarify.

Seasons

2009-11-04T13:59:00.000-08:00

One of my reasons for making Aliyah was the seasons. I could never reconcile myself with the fact than in Australia, when we went to synagogue and recited prayers for the beginning of a rainy season, it was the beginning of summer. At Pesach, we learned songs about spring time, just as autumn was beginning. It never made sense. I guess it must be something similar to the experience of being taught about a White Christmas while outside it's 45 degrees and everyone is heading to the beach.

However, I sort of thought that it never really made sense, our religion, being Jewish in the Southern Hemisphere. We have a harvest festival, our agricultural cycle, so much of the religion is based on seasons, and rituals which are dependant on time from the weekly Sabbath to the Sabbatical year, that I never really understood how everyone seemed so comfortable with the fact that our seasons down under never matched our religion. How they could pray with fervor for rain, when we all knew that outside this was not happening. I was told it was for Israel, we are praying for rain in Israel, we are celebrating the festival of the trees in Israel....this line was repeated and repeated to me...so how could I not want to see how the seasons are in Israel???

The best place to experience the seasons in Israel is in the shuk. After becoming an experienced shuk shopper, you get to know the seasons...and now as the sky literally turned grey overnight, I know that soon I will be able to get some yummy strawberries for 5 shekel a kilo and savour them with some sinful nutella....I think I am starting to salivate like a pavlov dog...ooohhh...strawberries on pavlova...how easily my mind switches to food! It takes a finely tuned shuk shopper though to know that one week of the year when you can get limes...otherwise you're going to have to bring them back from overseas with you. None of this all year round availability of imported fruits and veges...it's all about the seasons...

It is at this appropriate time, that just a few weeks ago we celebrated sukkot, the festival of booths, where we give up our permanent houses for huts and brave the elements, to remind us of wandering in the desert, and what it's like to be outside. Sukkot (booths), pop up around the neighbourhood in Jerusalem everywhere that you could possibly stick one like on the side of building... (thanks Gary for the pic).

However, the most amazing part about Sukkot is that we read a section of the Tanach (Bible), Kohelet (Ecclesiastes)...and if we had not been paying attention to the seasons then it spells it out for us: Chapter 3

'To everything there is a Season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted.
A time to kill and a time to heal, A time to break down and a time to build up.
A time to weep and a time to laugh. A time to mourn and a time to dance.
A time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing.
A time to seek and a time to lose, a time to keep and a time to cast away.
A time to rend and a time to sew. a time to be silent and a time to speak.
A time for love and a time for hate. A time for war and a time for peace.'

Sometimes we need reminders that G-d is in charge, that there is something higher than us, higher than the weather that controls these things and brings them about when they are appropriate. You would never appreciate something or call it special if you had it all of the time.
Judaism is so steeped in time and seasons and its appropriateness...it can't be ignored. You can;t even begin to possibly feel this in Australia and I would beg to argue that it definitely can't strengthen your faith, if what you are praying for is not being reflected around you. Judaism is a religion for the Northern Hemisphere.

I am always surprised when Summer ends. Like I thought that it would go on forever. My winter wardrobe has been swapped over...I saw the first rainbow...my doona is out of the cupboard. I have a bright eyed bushy tailed new flatmate who is looking at this new season with wonder and amazement...whereas cyncical old me is just...it's winter again...and I wonder...
I wonder back to what it was like to experience my first Jerusalem winter when my fingers nearly froze off...I think that I read my cynicism as experience, whereas she reads it as lack of enthusiasm for Israel....but it's there, under the layers...expressed now a bit more complexly, it's been weathered a bit by some harsh conditions but it's definitely there...and I get a different highs now...I say shecheyanu on a cream-bo (a blessing which is recited on a special occasion, a cream bo is a biscuit marshmellow treat which is only sold in winter).

Timing is everything...timing is the only thing.
It may not have been right back then, and it may not be right now...but there is always a time to love someone...because even when you hate them, you wouldn't put in the effort if you didn't love them as well....

A special shout out to a new gorgeous beautiful baby Sarah Lilly...you are a gift from G-d at the perfect time and I hope that your parents receive much love from you, through many seasons....A small miracle to be thankful for...

I just discovered my blog

2009-10-08T04:33:00.000-07:00

Wow, I just discovered my blog again and I remember that once upon a time I used to write things down.

It's a new year which means that I can leave old boyfriends behind (no bitterness here....).
It's a new year which means that I can start planning the rest of my life...I should start that soon.
It's a new year which means that I can start a revolution starting with giving all of Israel driving lessons, one person at a time and I will win...after I re-pave all the roads over so there's no pot-holes and put lights on all the major inter-city roads.

Resolutions and revolutions aside.
Future Conquests and plans, plans, plans...

I'm surprisingly in some place familiar caught between the expectations and realities of the way people behave towards me and major disappointment...but this time the walls seem different, a bad taste left in my mouth, my heart a bit more squished and finding it wierd when I try smile again as if it's not appropriate...

And strength, where do you spring from...and hope...and re-birth...and friends who make it all a little bit more bearable...time after time I am bewildered, my breath is taken away and I'm going to be alright.

Being a bit creative, being a bit of an explorer...taking a risk or 5 and moving forward because my eyes are focusing on a beautiful view that stretches out before me of mountains, valleys and rivers...calling me telling me to put on my walking shoes.

Behind me...well that's last year...
Shana Tova
Sweet, Happy, Healthy and Peaceful wishes...

Creating a Community

2009-06-13T13:10:00.000-07:00

As a part of my Universtiy studies, we have to learn how to conduct qualitative research and so friend and I conducted a focus group with Olim (immigrants) from English speaking countries that have been here for 3 years or more....we asked them what they think about Community...how their experience of community differs in the Diaspora to Israel and whether or not this impacts on their happiness here...
The answers we got were varied and interesting...

According to Literature on the subject, community can be defined as either territorial (e.g. a negihbourhood) or it can be relational (social groups/partnerships/people with shared common interest). Some people acknowledge the layers to community identity as including national and ethnic identity via common linkages in feelings of belonging.

All these concepts were echoed in the answers, but what I found most interesting was the support for the notion that Community is a social construct that wPe make for ourselves, it does not exist externally to us, we choose whether or not we create it's existance by actively participating or not.

A participant responded 'I am my Identity'. Another person pointed out that at the beginning there was a pressure to elarn Hebrew and 'fit in' with society, to assimilate to become 'Israeli' but as time passed by the image of the 'mythical desert man' otherwise known as the 'Israeli', faded and the need to prove yourself became irrelevant the longer that you stay...perhaps because there are so many different types of Israeli's because we are essentially an immigrant country that there is no set definition besides owing a Teudat Zehut (Identity card). You make yourself who you are...you don't have to conform to anything, because there's nothing to conform to, besides your own perceptions of esoterical constructs.

When inside the Miasma of the 'Anglo' community, in Jerusalem, English may be the dominant language, you may feel kinship towards fellow like minded idealogically driven 'authentic' people, but there is not one shule, not one group that is formally organised that everyone belongs to like in the Diaspora. As you get to know the place you might start to recognise people on the street, so you feel greater control over your environment...at the end of the day though, while sitting in class doing a Masters in hebrew, you will be viewed as 'the English speaker'...even though your conversations are toatally in fluent high level Hebrew, because you have an accent.

Everyone was really happy here, which begs the question...do labels really matter? Should we be so worried about 'integration'...as life gets busy and you start to wear crocs, you want to travel to India and you push in line at the post office because nothing can get done in this country without going to the Post office first...We have to ask ourselves...

The groups that we choose or do not choose to pe a part of to join and participate in or to leave aside. The people we choose to associate with and the place where we live...our community.
If we are supported, if we have friends and social networks, if you can say at the end of the day, I am happy...then surely this is what counts more towards a 'successful' Aliyah.

Medicine's Changing Face

2009-05-21T09:49:00.001-07:00

Salt and Pepper

2009-05-17T11:59:00.000-07:00

Apparently the bit underneath your biceps which flaps when you shake your arm, in Hebrew is referred to as "מלח פילפל" i.e. "salt and pepper", because when you shake the salt and pepper it also shakes...
That's why I love this language...for expressing things that I had never thought about and making my life that much richer for knowing...thanks to Judith for that tidbit...
There was a rat outside my house on Friday: episode no.2 in the rat race...I opened my door, it was there, I screamed, I let it run away - opened my door again and screamed it was still on the stairwell...closed the door, called two boys, got them to come over and chase it away.
I also had to call the electrician to change my lightbulbs because they were halogen and I had never done that before.
When he was leaving he noted that someone had been baking (surprisingly my flatmate and not me) and so I gave him a muffin and I said "See you need me to bake and I need you to change the lightbulbs" - 200 shekels later he left. I got a compliment though "יפה וגם מאפה", expensive wasn't it.
I am black and blue from doing paintball...never ever again. I think I have enough war stories.
Now I guess I should do my homework right??
Or go for a swim to get rid of my Salt and Pepper...not that I really have...I just checked in the mirror.

Erev Pesach 4 years

2009-04-08T02:30:00.001-07:00

Well it's been 4 years now since I have been here...I am now Ausraeli...I am a mixed breed...because sometimes there are reminders that this is a foreign strange land.

Conversation at appliance store on Emek:
American Dude: Do you have a Carbon Monoxide Detector or smoke detector?
Shopkeeper: No
American Dude: I don't go anywhere without one, people die from fires in their houses without them.
Shopkeeper: Maybe in America but not in Israel.

Politics and Posters

2009-04-05T06:26:00.000-07:00

Walking through the Old City the other day...in search of a beacon of European Culture in the Middle East...otherwise known as the Austrian Hospice, I couldn't help but notice the frequency that this poster featured in shops dotted along the way down the Via Dolorosa.

Retracing Jesus' steps...don't miss at the end of the Christian Quarter Road the Armenian Kodak photo shop, there are some rare shots from pre-'67 around the Old City and surrounds...that remind me a bit of Anna Ticho's sketches.

Meanwhile back on the 'path of sorrow', my attention is drawn back to the posters...Arab merchants are eagerly trying to bargain with you to buy jewellery, some Armenian tiles, traditional Israeli snacks are packaged with Arabic writing...it feels like I have crossed some sort of border...or perhaps a green line.

This poster seemed to represent something for the shopkeepers. The fact that it says Palestine on it instead of Israel. The prominence of the Dome of the Rock captures your attention. Perhaps to put words in their mouths it says' we are here...' and I think the poster the 'old school' feel about it also says 'we are not going anywhere'.

I Found an interesting article explaining the origins of the poster which were to promote visitng the Holy Land...it's recent reprint and trasnformation into a political symbol is an interesting journey..Please read; http://www.laweekly.com/2003-11-20/news/visit-palestine/

Meanwhile...meandering my way out...past the kids selling shoes...where does this image come from? Slumdog millionaire? Straight out of the movies into real life Middle Eastern Cobble streets with a European back drop? Where am I?

Some place I like to call home.

Remembering to miss you.

2009-04-01T03:47:00.000-07:00

It's funny how distance changes relationships.
Sitting here in Israel far far away from Australia I often think about this. I think about the way that the 'status' of some of my relationships with friends and family too changes and is changing.
There are friends that I have had for years and I might not be in contact with them, but when I see them we fall into a groove and it's ok that we haven't written to each other every week.
There are others that I expected to be in better contact with, and I am disappointed with them that we are not, despite my efforts. Perhaps there is this occurrence in reverse and I am not aware.
of course, there are people who I write to regularly, irregularly and almost daily...the motivation, the necessity and the pattern...interests me.
How do you decide who to stay in touch with...is this even an active decision. Who do I still talk to? Who do I classify as important? Is there a sub-conscious classifcation system?
The management of friends due to facebook/skype has revolutionised the staying in contact procedure...I don't remember birthdays...facebook does this for me according to some logarithm I see certain people's photos...and others I don't. Some people may have de-friended me and I am unaware...

Why all the musings??
I guess because when I moved I didn't realise that I was signing up for all these changes...What did I expect then? I don't know...I guess I didn't want things to change...
On the one hand I have met so many people, and I have great friends...on the other hand...there's a lot of people who I am sad that our lives no longer cross...that I don't know what they are doing on a daily basis....and despite technology...nothing can compensate from sitting across the table from them and a cup of coffee on a lazy Sunday morning...because when you do this, you build an experience with them and a memory...what I am upset about is the fact that a person who was once in my memories...no longer features day to day, I feel perhaps I am losing the opportunities for making memories...with people who I value...

I am happy that I am here and experiencing all these different experiences...I guess what I am saying is...you don't always realise when you go away or when you leave that perhaps you might miss someone...or something...it exists a hole...it is not filled with others, it may be reduced but it just is.

It's ok, it's normal, it hurts a bit, but I guess that's how you know that you are human, that you care. Certain moments you may remember this...but most of the time you don't and you go about your everday activities until you see a random picture...until someone mentions something routine that reminds you of a private joke with someone else...and their memory rises from some dusty corner in your mind...which gives meaning to an otherwise uneventful day...

and I smile when I think of you and I wonder if you do the same.

It's been a while

2009-02-25T00:12:00.000-08:00

I know it's been a while.
I think about what I should write all the time.
Perhaps I should have commented on the war...you'd think that would be news worthy...but it sort of came as something inevitable that people just took on as an yet another challenge to every day life...if you throw rockets on us...I guess we will throw them back.
There were signs around town saying "A strong backbone, means a successful front line" I think to try and instill a sense of pride...I was upset that I had to get someone to translate the Israeli slang because I didn't know what the sign was trying to say...it's that everyday slang that gets you...even once you have passed a billion Ulpans...
The elections...I voted Likud...I guess I wanted a right wing majority in power...I guess I got it...
They are advertising for a new Israeli TV program to be called "ha'olim" the "the new immigrants", it is meant to follow immigrants from their home towns through the process of making aliyah,giving them challenges along the way...and the winner gets a new apartment on the beach in tel aviv. A friend of mine commented "as if we need more challenges when making aliyah"...I think that the tv program recognises that aliyah is a challenging process...like survivor...and clearly must be entertaining to others as well (not he people going through it...to us...it's hilarious).
I guess I have been busy with University...etc etc...a bit boring hey...
I muse every now and again on the differences between Tel-aviv and Jerusalem...people often ask me...when am I going to move to tel-aviv...a good friend of mine is always bugging me to rent an apartment there over the summer for the beach...there is definite rivalry there akin to Sydney-Melb...I guess things just worked out for Me in Jeru...there was no reason to think of moving to tel-aviv...I like going there to visit...I always have fun...but I guess because I don't have a tattoo...I wouldn't fit in...not sure.
My flat mate has been baking cookies...ginger my favourite...she says we need to have another party, I will think about it.

Israel Copies America Again

2008-12-24T03:17:00.000-08:00

It isn't enough that Shas the Ultra-Orthodox political party had to steal Obama's "Yes we can" and adopt "Ken Anachnu Yecholim" כן אנחנו יכולים - as their slogan...and plaster it everywhere on buses...
Just like there is an Obama boy...Now there is a Livni Boy...

Crush

2008-12-22T22:39:00.000-08:00

So I think that I have a crush on Zac Braff.
There are many contributing factors.
I love the Garden State sound track.
Scrubs is played repeatedly on Star World and seems to always be on TV whenever I switch it on, which is hardly ever...so when I do, it is influential that I always see his face, the advertising has finally burrowed a hole in my brain.
He writes on his blog http://www.zachbraff.com/ about as often as I do.
He's hot...it helps...
He's Jewish which means he's not totally out of my reach, I mean he has to come and visit Israel at some point right?
The only downer is I guess that he must have an American accent...which while I am currently going through my anti-America phase ain't so sexy....I guess I can get over it. (Don't be offended Zac or any Americans, it's just an organic consequence of being an Aussie island in a sea of American immigrants here).
I haven't had a crush in a while so this is quite refreshing...it reminds me of when I liked Jonothan Brandis and I had 50 posters of him stuck on my wall when I was 16...I don't think that I am going to take this that far, but it's cool to have something to dream about during lectures at Uni.

Bridging

2008-12-20T11:46:00.000-08:00

A lot of people don't really like the new bridge at the entrance to the city...I can't remember if I have already had a blog about this...but I for one like it.
Did you know that the Eiffel Tower when it was first erected was referred to by PArisians as the 'tragic lampost'. Just as only now Jorn Utzon is revered for building the Sydney Opera House...architects are often not appreciated for their revolutionary design at the time...or rather I think the city has to integrate with the building and build a relationship...
I am not going all Howard Rourke...I would prefer to go all Dominique, I have a great dress to go with her personality as well...The point being, I am not trying to philosophise about this...
The construction has grown on me though to the point where I am even proud of it, and I think it has become an icon...you can see it from many different views and it attracts attention...apparently last winter when snow gathered on its strings and fell, it damaged cars...so you might need to beware...Even though there was a party to officially open it, it's not being used yet because the light rail isn't in existance yet after about 6 years of building...one day the messiah will come but until then, we at least have Arab workers...

In other news...I have decided to take Public Health promotion, and I am learning that marketing is a more effective way of reaching people that education...sad but true...
I am doing all these subjects like 'health economics' and 'health marketing' which seem to me to be what you would have learned in a basic all round american undergrad...economics 101 and marketing 101...now I am catching up and being exposed to these concepts which can really be applied across the board to anything...which makes me for the first time re-think about the idea of a general education being a positive thing, as opposed to my specific job orientated degree. If psych, economics, statistics etc are needed in almost everything then it makes sense to do them all first and then branch out and specialise...Whereas usually I am more in favour of getting a specific degree rather than 'wasting time' doing arts...perhaps this all makes sense...hmmm....

As I accumulate more initials next to my name, the academic environment here is rubbing off on me...and I am acutely aware of how much people here are degree heavy...having degrees here is like underwear....you can never have too many....
It's an interesting cultural difference...whereas in Australia, practical, work experience is valued, over here your pay is structured according to your academic credentials, which means people are clambering to get PHd's. Getting one from America means that you have really arrived...
Where is all this leading to?
Does it bode well???

There aren't many jingle bells around but Bethlehem is 15 mins away...and perhaps I can look for the North star out my window tonight...but it's cloudy and cold, so I will put on my heater instead.

Have a happy Chanukah.

Vacanze Romane

2008-12-03T13:09:00.000-08:00

I went to Rome as I explained in class today for my mental health, in order to surprise a friend who I haven't see for almost 2 years...to catch up and see some sights.

She noticed that we're getting older...

Voting

2008-11-11T08:40:00.000-08:00

As Israel likes to copy America...we too had elections although only municpal...but don't worry we will have elections for Prime Minister soon.

My new flat mate who is pretty cool, noted the other day...Gila I didn't realise you were so Anti-America...she's from Houston, Texas and she has cowboy boots.

I personally hate the word 'anti' (can you be anti anti?), as I think it connotates all sorts of negative thoughts...and is a left wing slogan...I can't remember the last time anybody left has been 'pro' anything...not that I am a hard core person...you know I try to be peaceful...but my only criticism of lefties I guess is that negative rhetoric can't put you in a positive frame of mind.

That waffle aside getting back to American pancakes...(I have been blessed with some true maple syrup and I am trying to come up with a good occasion to use it)...I am trying to decide what to do as a major in my masters...even though we have already started the semester and pedhaps I should ahve thought about this already. Nevermind. My point is that nothing has changed since last year in the sense that across the board teachers till use America as some sort of Gold standard. It bothers me....a lot. It's like some chip on everyone's shoulder here...or some guiding light...always looking on the other persons plate towards the green grass...That is something as a Public Health student that I don't think is healthy.

So here's a picture of me making a difference...I look like I'm about to start a revolution right?

A Familial Familiar Sound

2008-10-02T15:57:00.000-07:00

Coming back home? Or Coming back to a home?
Sydney as loyal readers will know holds a special place in my heart.
I love this city. There isn't much to hate about it except that it's a 1000 miles from anywhere else.
Driving through familiar streets for the first time since I left over 3 years ago, I feel detached...in the sense that I remember that I have forgotten. I am drifitng by remembering things of the past and I feel almost guilty that I have not thought about them for over a year...How could I forget this scenery? Am I betraying this town because it lapsed from my memory...
Slowly sights and sounds rush back to me and I realise that indeed I have a whole life here...Family, friends and my childhood...how did I forget that being so caught up in day-to-day chores.
Sydney Amnesia is so fun to wake up from...the sun, surf and sand...A long weekend ahead...with jazz and lots of park time...
A piercing thrilling sound of the shofar...blown by my father, in our shule where all these people who watched me grow up come to greet me...Shana Tova...A sweet new year.
I feel reassured, comforted...it's nice to have a hug from my nephews...an injection of strength for the year to come.

NY See

2008-09-20T19:34:00.000-07:00

Here I am all psyched to be in the big city. It's big. It's huge...it goes on for a while.
Debbie and I tried coming up with as many analagies as possible for how to relate the amount of people that are stuffed in here...we got all the way back to Abraham with the sands of grain and numbers of stars...I originally suggested that is was like G-d sprinkled hundreds of thousands over the city and they turned into people.

I am not exactly sure if I would want to live here in a pokey apartment. They seemed to have removed most of the nature as well...and then in the parks they have artifically made...they ahve fenced in the grass...hmmm

I'm sure I would love the shopping if I had my credit card, but in grand Gila tradition, of course everything is complicated...and I left my VISA in Israel...as you do when you are coming to visit the shopping mecca of the world...I think I have been quite patient waiting for my new one to turn up and I am grateful to my friends for funding me...but the torture of walking into shops and walking out with nothing is truly providing me with a lesson.

Now I have to go and hang out in the village....and tomorrow go row-boating in central park...

xx

I passed

2008-08-31T02:47:00.000-07:00

I PASSED! I passed my ptor (exemption) from Hebrew exam at University, which means, I now have the highest level of Hebrew as deemed by teh Hebrew Unviserity of Jerusalem.
Thanks to all who have followe dmy Ulpan sagas all throughout the past year...I know it has been rather boring, because I actually lived it...I promise now that it is all over and I have a bit more time I will go back to writing stories of actual interest about Israel.

Right now it is wedding season...I am on my way to a wedding tonight...had bachelorette of my ex-flatmate Lou...we went out on a yacht for a few hours, off the coast of Tel-Aviv last Friday...it was dreamy! This week another bachelorette and next week 2 weddings and then it's off the NY and San Francisco to check out what all this hype is about America...I am told there are shops there...so I should be ok.

I got my passport renewed...a saga and a half...I had to dedicate a half a day to doing it just so I got the right sized photo. I look really mad in the photo as well, because we are not allowed to smile anymore, and the hologram superimposed over it cuts across my cheeks morphing me into someone who looks like they just had their wisdom teeth out...not sure if it will be so easy to recognise me...

ok...back to work...and then some fun...
Tomorrow when I wake up in the morning I will have a new flatmate...another new adventure...she is from Texas...I hope she has cowboy boots...

What Netanyahu wants...

2008-08-21T09:19:00.000-07:00

So this week I attended the First International Jewish Bloggers conference...
In the middle Bibi Netanyahu turned up to tell us that he too has a blog...
I guess it was a good platform for him...I mean everyone there was clearly going to go home and write about him on their blog...look here I am doing exactly that...
So here's what Bibi said...

Bibi: Thanks to Aliyah from America and Canada...and other countries...
ME: woohoo
Bibi: Which country did I forget?
ME: Australia...
Bibi: Oh ok...What about Argentina...are there any Argentinians in the Audience...??

So even though Bibi also compares Israel to America...like every other obsessed Star Spangled Israeli...At least Bibi knows the name of other countries also starting with A.

The Shuk and I

2008-08-13T14:09:00.000-07:00

Could this be the first time I am writing about my love?

My Friday afternoon ritual of winding my way past vendors of sweet smelling herb and spices...live vertebrates flailing in the air, luscious strawberries for 5 shekels...old men drinking Turkish coffeee...The vegetable man with his cigarette ashing over the produce...his hands stained with hard labour...

I know exactly which merchants to buy the quality produce from...they nod at me...these characters are larger than life...staright out of a comic book with features exaggerated in order to capture the authenticity of a bargain in the shuk.

My senses are saturated...and sometimes you have to sit down...in a coffee shop like Mizrachi for a Limonana...or pause by oily baklava for a sample...

There's change as well...the Art Gallery with all it's bric-a-brac has closed...an Aroma cafe has commercialised the open shuk...

The people hustle and bustle and I feel like I am participating in a communal exercise. I am just like them...feeding a family...rushing before Shabbat to get Challot...

It's so attractive....It's like a heart beat....a signal that the people are alive

Procrastinating

2008-08-07T05:48:00.000-07:00

I am meant to be studying for my Ulpan exam...the final final one...
If you have read any of my previous posts you will know exactly how deeply my ulpan experience has impacted on my life.
I really can not imagine life without Ulpan classes...what will I do?
Read a bit, write a bit, eat more (I already eat a bit)....maybe I will go outside and see the world a bit...NY counting down 1 month and 8 days...
Perhaps I will miss it? No not really.

On a day like today...all you can do is pray

2008-07-16T05:36:00.000-07:00

Today is a sad day. In exchange for terrorist Samir Kuntar and 4 other lebanese prisoners as well as 185 bodies...Israel received the bodies of Eldad Regev (my age) and Ehud Goldwasser (my sister's age).
The music on the radio is subdued and in an interview Regev's father said "I was still optimistic that I could hug Eldad".
Meanwhile, "I've been waiting for Gilad Shalit for two years", the hope continues....
In order to raise awareness, a book that Gilad Shalit wrote when he was little, has been published as a children's book, you can download it/ print it and colour it in. http://habanim.org/en/gilad_story_en.html

The favourite question that Israeli's like to ask me, as current as this morning:
Why did you make Aliyah?
The answer that I gave for the first time today:
Why do you stay?

To Dizengoff - לדזנגף or To Facebook - לפסבק ?...That is the question!

2008-06-30T11:43:00.000-07:00

I just watched the first episodes of סרוגים 'knitted' the new Israeli sitcom literally about living on my street. I am scared now to go outside just in case I get caught on film. Check it out at http://yes.walla.co.il/?w=1/7531
With all the cliche's about what it's like to live in this area, people tend to put you in a box. A friend wanted to set me up with a guy who lives in Tel-Aviv. Israeli. He calls me today to break up with me before we even started going out. It's quite impressive really.
He starts with:
"Look I live in Tel-Aviv..." and ends with "Oh I just started going out with someone but I'll call you if it doesn't work out..."
I recently bought a fun coffee table book on Israeli idioms and what they really mean.
I think what he means to say is:
"You are from Jerusalem. I'm pretty sure that you cover your elbows and that you don't have a tan line because I live in Tel Aviv on the beach and anyone who doesn't live where I live can't possibly go to the beach. It is impossible for me to open up my little head to entertain the possibility that anything could ever happen between us, so let me just give you an excuse so I can tell my friend that I called you but it didn't work out."

It's all about how you conjugate verbs. I'm still in Ulpan, it still takes up copious amounts of my time. It's so wonderful though that I have a way to express myself and tell this following story in more than one language, for now though I will suffice with English.

A few weeks ago a guy who I know from Sydney, who I originally met because I used to go out with a friend of his 10 years ago added me as a friend on facebook. I can't remember the last time I had a conversation with him but I thought, whatever it's not going to kill me to be his friend on facebook, so I accepted him.

The next week I get a message from him:
"Hi Gila, are you still in Israel? I Am coming there for a holiday and it would be great to catch up!"
The friendly person that I am, I wrote back and said "Sure, why not!". Ok so I really don't have much to say to this guy, but if he's here all the way from Australia and wants to hang out then why not?
The next week a phonecall from London:
" Hi Gila, I'm coming to Israel tomorrow and I don't have anywhere to stay and all the hotels in tel aviv are booked"
Do I really believe this bullshit?
The next day he is my house and the first thing he said to me was:
"Can I use your washing machine?"
He took me out for dinner to say thanks and he wanted to talk about my ex from 10 years ago...because that is the only thing we have in common...the ex who is now married...who I am friendly with...but not much in contact...because in the past 10 years...I guess stuff happened like I moved countries...

So how long is he staying? Who knows? Is he around for Shabbat? I can't get a straight answer, so instead I ask my friends is he can join for meals and they very kindly agree. I let him know and he is thankful. 4pm Friday fternoon, he let's me know that actually he is going to be in Tel-Aviv for Shabbat...so now I have to embarrassingly call my friends to cancel.

Then he doesn't come back.
2 days go by and I don't hear anything.
He has my key.
I wonder when he will return.

Until today I get this message:
"I'm so dumb - I had to come back to London for a medical appointment which is tomorrow. And I forgot I had your key. I'm coming back to Israel later this week. But I don't know if you need the key before then? I am so sorry it was retarded of me to forget. Let me know what I should do, I could look at getting it couriered to you express or something?"

Is this normal behaviour? I don't think so. I am sick of being a nice person and getting used. I de-friended him. It's the first person on facebook that I have done that too but I think he deserved it.

So as for the question I choose neither.
Where did all the normal people go?

Strength - כח

2008-06-16T23:22:00.000-07:00

The Hebrew letter value of 28 is represented as כח which means strength. Today as I turn 28, I can reflect upon past experiences and appreciate the strength which has carried me through up until now and the power that it has provided me with. I don't think that at any other age I would have been able to understand the full meaning of the word and I think it is really appropriate at this time.
I am so grateful for all the opportunities that I have been able to grab at and all the amazing experiences that have been provided for me.
I am so excited for the next year to see what comes along, and I know that I have the strength to handle whatever comes my way and also the strength to achieve whatever my heart desires...
Happy Birthday to me!

History and Halacha

2008-06-10T12:55:00.000-07:00

I just had a really nice Shavout, where everyone brought something to eat and something to learn. I think there is something special about who you learn with because essentially you are sharing G-d with them and this also to a lesser degree is also present when you share a meal with someone, because you are sharing an experience with them and that is how you build a relationship.

A lot of the discussion centred around G-d's role in Halacha vs History.
While Halachah is no longer in Heaven, G-d still controls history at the end of the day...but is the ultimate goal for us to become independant with that as well...?
When we read different versions of the same event in Tanach what actually happened? Where is the truth in history...or is history, just events that we need to take on face value...it occurred?
When was it that we actually reveived the Torah?...The date is not actually recorded in the Torah...in fact the whole concept of Shavout being Zman Matan Torateinu only came about after the Temple was destroyed and Rabbi's re-conceptualised the Chag from being a harvest festival directly dependant on the Temple and the bringing of first fruits to placing the emphasis on Torah study in order that it could still be relevant to us today despite the fact that since primary school it has been ingrained into us that on Shavout we received the Torah...you'd think that the Torah would record such an occasion...

Food for thought...

G-d Bless America

2008-05-29T10:55:00.000-07:00

A little pet peeve...ok this is going to turn into a rant. As my lecturer insinuated today, I have an accent, however what he was wrong about was the source of my accent. I hate it when people think that I am American, and not because I hate America, rather because I don't like it that people are unable to expand their minds to consider that perhaps there are other English speaking countries that people might potentially come from.

Yeah I know it is the most powerful country in the world, however this doesn't mean that it should be the default standard for the world. I don't like it, how it appears here in Israel, to be the number one comparison for the Western world. "Well in America....", a statement mostly made by non-Americans. There is an invisible pedestal somewhere here that has infiltrated Israeli society and placed America 'up there'. America is the benchmark, it is the Mr Jones, it is the place that Israeli's stereotype as being Rich, wealthy, bountiful and full of opportunities - in short - The Promised Land.

Maybe it's because there is a lot of American support, maybe it's because NY is only 10 hours away and there are a lot of Americn Tourists, maybe it's because a lot of investments, charity and aid comes from America, maybe it's purely because the American presence here, maybe it's because of TV - the drug of a nation - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgOWTM5R2DA.

Sitting in classes, I am learning about the state of health here and around the world. Again, America is the comparison. From what I can make out about their Medicare/ Medicare Aid or what ever and England's NHS, I really dont understand why the Australian health care system is never mentioned, because despite it's own faults, at least everyone is entitled to basic cover, it sounds so much better....but...."In America....". Then the lecturer breaks out into Canadian jokes, because I guess if you are not from America, like him, you must be from Canada and that is truly 2nd class. I seriously wonder if he could even pin point Australia on a map.

I said to a class mate of mine, I think that if everyone knew how things were done in Australia there would be this mass migration there, to which her response was 'yeah, but it's at the end of the world.". I guess so. The world's best kept secret.... the thing is though, she sort of keeps it that way. Tucked in there Down Under, not really making a noise, maybe that sunburnt country is best left alone, untouched and America can have all the glory and criticism.

I just find it interesting, the sweeping statements often made by people who are trying to compare Israel with the rest of the world, but what comes out is 'America'.
I might just have to go and visit to see what all this fuss is about...that's right...nearly 28 years without ever visiting "The City", to most people here that statement sounds like I come from some back end of Asia...oh yeah...I do.

There's a hole in my road, dear liza, dear liza...

2008-05-27T11:54:00.000-07:00

As I am bumping down the roads around Jerusalem I catch myself pontificating, do I have flat tyres or are the roads just full of potholes??? I actually get out of my car and do a once over...nah the roads here are just shit...yet another symptom of how much attention gets given to something that is not war over here.

Going Green

2008-05-23T00:27:00.000-07:00

I have been made aware recently about all the "Green" developments around Israel. I often used to complain about the lack of re-cycling here and how I miss having 5 bins for organic/ plastic + glass/ aluminium/ paper and general garbage. It's good to know though that Israel is concerned with all this stuff and is in some ways 'pioneering', which is one of my favourite words to associate with Israel.

So I wanted to bring your attention to this great blog: http://greenprophet.com/ which will keep you in touch with green stuff happening in Israel...I think it's really cool...and I have met one of the contributers...does that make me cool? Probably not, but it's worth a try...happy reading!

Books and Movies

2008-05-20T02:54:00.000-07:00

Last week I attended the first International writers festival in Jerusalem. I went to a session with Etgar Keret, Jonothan Safran Foer and Nathan Enlgander. Jonathan safran FOer had lots of interesting things to say about the process of writing, for example, he writes becasue he loves art - in general, and writing is the form of art that he can express himslef, if he could paint he would paint, but he can't. He continued, everyone probably ahs a bout 10 novels of material in them, it's just a question of what you do with that amterial, does it wach through you or do you write it down?

They had an interesting discussion about the difference between an "Israeli" and "Jewish" writer. Etgar Keret suggested it had something to do with identity, that 'diaspora' Jewry has issues with identifying and establishing an identity as a Jew in a secular environment, and hence they have to do things to create an identity, or hide it...the whole "Kavalier and Clay"/ superhero notion of being two things at once. WHereas in Israel you are Jewish all the time. No hiding. No need to identify yourself as different - here we are all the same - the super-jew with their army.

I thought about this in terms of religion. Religion is definitely a way of maintaining identity in the "diaspora" and once you are in Israel and everyone (ok the majority) is Jewish, does the push to keep religion lessen or deepen because of that? You are no longer special becasue you keep all these different customs because everyone is doing it...establishing your identity takes on a different meaning...

LAst night I went to an evening of early film in "Palestine" early 1900's. It was fun to see all the clips of Israel under the Ottoman/ British rule...everyone was dancing, and ploughing the land, this was the signature meaning to being Israeli - working the land, planting orchards and building houses and schools. It gives you a warm and fuzzy feeling seeing all these "pioneers", even if the film was choreographed.

Living in Israel now, am I ploughing proverbial fields? Am I living the "Jewish" dream?
Am I "Israeli" yet? Things that cross my mind from time to time...

Turkish Delight and other stuff

2008-05-04T10:19:00.000-07:00

In Turkey, everyone wants to know where you are from. So I had taken on a habit of asking everyone that you encounter...where are you from??

Back in Israel, in line at the Israeli passport check. An Arab-Israeli goes to me "Where are you from?" I reply back cheekily..." I am from Israel..where are you from?"...to which he replies" No you do not look Israeli!... I am from Azza...do you know Azza? It no longer exists...it is now Tel-Aviv Ilit". In other words...now part of greater Tel-Aviv...I found this viewpoint...literally straight from the source striking.

Back home...walking past my neighbour...Shlomo Ben Shlomo...I pointed out to him that my flag is bigger than his...to which he responded...Yes, but he has 3!

Asserting Independance

2008-05-01T02:59:00.000-07:00

I have a few 'Israel' moments to relate...

I was in Tel Aviv recently and I noticed the municipality were starting to put up Israeli flags for the upcoming memorial and celebration days. I decided that I wanted one, I asked if I could have one with a sweet smile and I was rewarded for my efforts. Yesterday I proudly hung my flag on my 'mirpeset' (balcony), and it is now swaying in the wind....

I have now finished semester one exams and I am on holiday!!!! In order to get my degree, I also have to get an exemption from hebrew, which means passing through a series of levels of classes and exams. I had received a failure for this semester and I was really upset about it...so yesterday, after my last exam, I trotted off to the office to contest my results...I was told this was the Israeli thing to do.

I entered with a prepared speech, I sat down opposite the co-ordinator. She asked me my name, checked me up on the computer and replies "You passed." I was in shock...she presses a few buttons and presto..I am in the final level! Feeling a bit taken a back, because I was all fired up to give a speech after I spent the past two weeks moping about that I did not pass the exam...I said to her everything that I had prepared to say anyway, her response"It's good that you came in to check".

It's good that i came in to check because even though I had followed the system, received my grade which was a fail (the pass mark was 75), the information was still not all there....and until you yourself (independantly) confirm it is for real...it doesn't mean anything...yet again, i felt as though I had no idea what was going on...but this time I guess for the good!

As Israel is aboutto celebrate her 60th birthday, and I also am nearing mine...It's nice to recognise what we have acheived...the importance of achieving things by yourself...but also recognising the people that help contribute along the way to amke it all happen....

3rd Year Aliyah Anniversary

2008-04-05T11:38:00.000-07:00

I stumbled across a piece of writing that I wrote around the time when I first arrived here and it was really interesting to read over it again...3 years later...I found it interesting to see the contrast my feelings then and now. When I wrote this I transliterated anything that was in Hebrew, whereas now I would just type it without a second thought, those tiny steps you often overlook but each of them is a contribution to a larger picture...the piece is here below for you to perouse...

Sometimes I forget that I am living in Israel after 2000 years of longing by a misplaced people. I think this usually occurs at about the time when 'ish ploni' (random person) pushes in front of me at the bank and I get in a rage. The other day when waiting for the bus outside the shuk sitting down next to an elderly lady who tells me the story of how she was a Jabotinsky girl, from what I can make out in my broken Hebrew she fought in a resistance movement and here we were sitting on the bench in 2005, her wrinkled face, has clearly seen harsher times, and I wipe the sweat from my brow and listen, it's then that I have the humble thought why is it that I am better than Moses? Why did he not set foot on this soil? Yet I merit living in the holy land?

I realise that I am thinking in terms of crime and punishment. Moses not entering the land of Israel was always described to me in terms of a punishment…because he hit the rock instead of talking to it. The traditional day school explanation for this occurrence is no longer enough for me and I search for some intellectual honesty. Parables of how The temples were destroyed due to the chet ha'egel (sin of the golden calf) and chet'hameraglim (sin of the spies) give rise to the notion that now we have something to cry about on TISHA b'Av seem too superficial for the concept of divine retribution and so I feel some sort of cognitive dissonance between my experiences and traditional reading of texts.

The words of psalms ring in my ears 'omdot hayu raglenu b'sharayich, yerushalayim' our feet stood immobile, in the gates of Jerusalem. I think this best describes the feeling I am experiencing. I am at a stand still, I do not know here to navigate from here, my heart is definitely in the east and now my body is no longer in the west. It flew via Bangkok and London for 2.5 days and landed safely at the new Ben Gurion aiport. I didn't have a map and it seemed almost irresponsible not to know where I was going from here, but I literally landed – I made Aliyah – now what? The instruction book didn't say, or rather there wasn't one available – I didn't receive the copy in the mail.

The fairy tales that were read to me as a child were suddenly alive. Here are the remains of the temple were we made sacrifices to Hashem, where pilgrims came to give their first fruits. Here I try and relate to a pile of stones, and David's thoughts are my thoughts and I too have temptations to sin. So how do I reconcile Biblical history with Modern. I guess it's similar to the process of adjusting from black and white images to technicolour. Number one is acceptance that things will never be the same again. Different times mean different contexts and so when relating to an ancient text in a modern time, I try to wear the glasses of Bat Levi strolling the Cardo looking to buy the most fashionable Kaltah (hair covering). Number 2 is my awareness of the burden and responsibility of history, that is the making of history my story, If I am to be a part of this collective then I need to start being responsible for it as well. Where do I walk here? So many other more important people have walked these hills before me. If I walk in their footsteps, perhaps I will fall in their shadow….perhaps I will blaze a trail?

Number 3 is that I seem to be more conscious of my leaps of faith, the further I delve and the more I explore.If I were only a fly on that rock? Would my basket of unanswered questions be lighter and weigh less on my head? The incongruities of religion bother me but not to the point of heresy, rather the antipathy. I am left with more and more questions but this seems to deepen my faith. I think if the answers were all given to me on a silver platter I wouldn't enjoy it and so I guess the state is like that as well. If I do not ask questions, then I will not be challenged and I will float on by, accepting all that I am told.

It's so hard to communicate, I can't understand the phrases and slang. Language is the cultural expression and I am unable to express myself, I have to re-learn, for 25 years I could talk and now I am stuck for words at least 4/5 times a day. I guess like a baby, I get a chance to oogle at all the new and wonderful delights as I figure out how to classify and label them – giving them a name and identity.

These chance encounters with a woman at the shuk, they form my destiny…. Perhaps it is all meant to be, but at the same time it is so much fun that we have the ability to change things, destiny and free choice seem to work in some sort of symbiosis. They belong together, they choose it to be that way. I should do something for myself each day and change my destiny…for fun, be someone that I only imagined, choose life, one day just get up and leave whatever set routine I have and turn it upside down. Tick.

These are the layers of stones that I see, textured and rough, yet fitting together still standing as a testimony to time. In the interim I read the situation as plain as it stands, I am here and Moses is not. What am I going to do about it? How will I contribute? The psalm seems to naturally continue in my stream of consciousness:
Pray for the peace of
Jerusalem, those who love you will be serene may there be a peace within your walls and serenity within your palaces. For the sake of my brethren and my comrades I shall speak of peace within your midst. For the sake of the house of Hashem, our G-d, I will request good for you.

Response

2008-03-11T07:06:00.000-07:00

It doesn't even begin to enter my mind the concept of obtaining a gun and entering a learning institution to open fire on innocent people. This is so far removed from my comprehension or imagination that I ahve had to put it into the too hard basket in order to process it.
I am trying to listen, to hear stories of people connected, with a sensitivity to try and maybe slightly understand, but I think I fail. I don't think I understand.

I wonder, I ponder sitting here, from which side you can begin to approach any of this and I fail. Given, I have no degrees in political science, I don't have a Masters in International relations...I am just a human being and I can not see at the moment, it has all gone a bit hazy.

Other words float in the air:
"Act with Restraint", "Stick to the agreement/ plan", "Control the violence".
The people who say these statements, they must understand because they have come up with advice on how to respond. They must know. They must have a capacity for the events over the past week to enter them and analyse it within some sort of framework of fairness.
I am jealous because I don't think I know what the appropriate thing to do is. Especially if I place this in the context that I am not living in a town being showered with Rockets and having 15 seconds to run for shelter in the middle of my work/ school day/ life. So the people who seem to know how to act, who can compute all this mess, I am jealous of them, because I do not know how to respond.

How it started

2008-02-28T06:12:00.000-08:00

Walking down Emek, I notice this cute guy and think, oh he's cute...how can there be a cute guy in Jerusalem that I don't know about...anyway I keep on walking to my meal...
On the way home, we pass each other at the exact same spot...he starts a conversation in Hebrew with an obvious accent...
"It's ok, you can speak in English..."
That's how it started...

Aliyah - The next stage

2008-02-09T10:48:00.000-08:00

I have reached the next stage of my Aliyah. I have bought a car!!! I now have freedom and with my time saved I shall be doing homework, since the strike is over and I now have perpetual Univsersity until the chagim (i.e. Rosh Hashanah).
I now want to drive everywhere and I am offering my services to anyone who needs an errand to run, since I have noticed that if you don't have an errand to run, there is nowhere to drive in Jerusalem. If you want to drive to the beach (Tel Aviv) , that's cool, but you need a chunk of time to set aside for this, unlike Bondi, it is not at the end of your street, Mrs Macquarie's chair and Blues point are not on the way home....there's no views in J-town!!!!!!
Where can I drive to next???

Road Trip + WHne Bush Came to Town + Strike cont'd + Crazy Story

2008-01-10T14:11:00.000-08:00

Me in Caesaria...my favourite place in ISrael....I went on a Road trip with Debbie...it was so cool to drive in ISrael, I miss it so much...driving is a great time to really clear your thoughts and think, I forgot how much I actually need time to think...it sounds strange, but I think that is why I liek to fly as well, once you are on a plane you have nothing on your list of things to do, no one calling you and you can just....

For every hour that Bush is in Israel it costs the country $25000. 1/3 of Israel's police are in Jerusalem at the moment, because he is here at the King David, streets are closed people can't get to work, work has been cancelled for anyone who lives in the vicinity of the President and Prime Ministers house....

The strike continues....there was meant to be a meeting but it got cancelled becasue of Bush's visit...last chance to save the semester is a meeting this Sat night...whatever...I am so over it...

I walked into a bank this week, and there was a man lying on the floor with about 5 paramedics around him, trying to revive him, he is turning a shade of blue and they are shaking him, they are vigourously pumping life into him and his colour doesn't change. His Philipino stands at the side a bit distraught...

Everyone else continues on business as usual...I continue on business as usual. I sit there waiting for my turn. One of those things that you can't help but stare at, so you stare and that some how helps.

Free Time

2007-12-25T12:31:00.000-08:00

Since I have some random time on my hands my thoughts flow from - becoming a photographer, to a fashion designer, to maybe one day studying my degree...food and boys.

Food is first of course - I think about food a lot, I dream of what I am going to eat for dinner all through the day, I always have food on me, I am always composing new things to eat in my mind and I am the president elect of my own fine dining club - we meet once a week to eat in a restaurant...and I send the email telling everyone the details, which I think therefore makes me president, although others may differ in opinion which is fine, because it isn't really a club anyway....just a few girlfriends and anyone is welcome!

There are many benefits to the Fine Dining Club...the main one being food.

After that - great conversation - as opposed to going on some boring date - we discuss the boring dates and somehow that makes them interesting??? Go figure -

Last week we discussed the patheticness (who cares if that is a word or not) of some random guy who cancelled on friend of mine because it was raining and he didn't want to leave the house...they made a "rain check" but she wondered what would happen if it rained again...What does this guy do if he runs out of toilet paper and it's raining outside? You know what, I don't want to know...

What else to do with my spare time...hmmm...Oh yeh, I shop for food, I make my mum send me recipes and discuss them, I really truly wonder how much time I spend thinking of food...maybe it's a bit unhealthy? At least thinking about it isn't fattening though...I hate fat, I hate that I can't buy lean meat here and I hate that I now have to go to Power Yoga in order to get rid of my fat. I was in pain for 3 days after my class and if it wasn't for that Lemon Mousse, what a weakness!

Should I take my own food tomorrow or should I buy lunch at Uni? Oh no need to worry now because my lectures have just been cancelled due to an intensification of the strike. The intensification has made such an impact that it's nowhere to be reported on the news.
Which essentially means more free time...however this isn't really free time.
I cant go on holiday
I can't start some other new course
I can't sart a new job
I can't really do anything, because we just don't know when it will be over.

It's so great to be able to sit here in front of my computer and do nothing.

Why I like Tall buildings but do not like my Ulpan Teacher

2007-12-18T12:44:00.000-08:00

Part 1)
I like tall buildings because they make me feel at home, they make me feel like man has the potential to create something larger than himself...perhaps this is the Howard Roark in me, I mean he did have red hair as I recall. Lately, wondering around Tel Aviv, I have been looking at the skyline and for some reason I find it quite comforting, it's modern and large...something that Jerusalem lacks, but not necessarily in a bad way, just a difference that is you know, there. I can look at a tall building for a long time, just like I can look at water for a long time. I'm not sure why but I like it.

Part 2)
As I am enrolled as a student at Hebrew University, by the end of my first year I need to pass a Hebrew exemption exam. In addition to my coursework which I don't really have much of due to the strike...yes it is still on...I have to attend 6 hours of Hebrew classes 3 nights a week, which is a royal pain...

I actually do want to impreove my Hebrew and initially I was excited about these classes...but my teacher is not really a teacher...he is a preacher of his philosophy on why he thinks the standard of Hebrew in my class is so bad.

HE could on one hand teach us to improve, but instead he chooses to preach to us about why our mistakes are so bad and are a reflection of why his view on life is the only view on life...I was waiting for the perfect example and it just so happened to come along today....

If he was a good teacher he could have said "Gila, as an English speaker you need to pay special attention to Male and Female conjugations." Instead he chose to do the following:

"Gila, your sentence is very intelligent....the problem with intelligent people is this. They think that the language that they know is suffice and so they don't put effort into trying to relate how the Hebrew language differs. I like intelligent people, but if you write me an intelligent essay it doesn't really matter because you will only get 5 marks for content, but there is 10 marks for grammar/ structure and another 10 marks for appropriate language and conjugations. I work with a professor and he makes mistakes all the time with his Hebrew in this issue of Male and Female and it is because he does not have the perspective that he needs to leave behind his language and pay attention to the finer details of the Hebrew Language."

Me: "So in other words I should pay more attention to when something is Male or Female"

Him: "No Gila, You need to change your perspective on your attitude towards Hebrew as a language, it is a big problem with people who want to write intelligent sentences, but don't relate to the details of the language, but don't worry, I think if you want to you can still change your attitude".

Seriously???

If I didn't want better Hebrew then why would I be sitting in his class?
It's like he singled me out and said "You're smart, but it doesn't matter cause you are lacking in paying attention to what really counts, which is the way that I view life."
Instead of giving me constructive criticism, he berated me, patronised me and put me down, which I found offensive, de-motivating and not very educational.

Ok, thanks for the rant.

Shedding some Light

2007-12-09T05:17:00.000-08:00

So I am doing my masters in Public Health at Hebrew University, concurrent to my course is an International masters program which attracts Dr's and health care workers from Ethiopia, Mynamar, Turkey and all sorts of other places that I had only heard of in my stamp collection...
At a combined chanukah celebration, we asked some of these participants how they feel about being in Israel, and amazingly they replied that they don't feel safe. I find it interesting that here they have come from all these 3rd world countries which aren't necessarily the pillar of security, and they are studying here Masters degrees, which means they are educated people, and they still can't see the bigger picture.
After to talking to them for a while, they admitted that perhaps this has been shaped by the international media, because, to date after 3 months here, in the safety of Jerusalem, they have not seen tanks running around as is portrayed on T.V. I posited maybe the media over-sensationalises just a little...???
It disappoints me slightly when we are hosting people from overseas and they are still unable to reconcile their experiences on the ground with what they have been told...
I hope we get to mix with this group again, I think it's important for them to see exactly what Israel is like...

I feel the earth move

2007-11-30T02:54:00.001-08:00

As my bed shook, I thought perhaps I was dreaming, then I thought, if this gets any worse, maybe I will get out of bed and see if Ilana is ok, and then the shaking stopped, so I just rolled over and went back to sleep...
It being Shabbat, I was't quite sure how I was going to confirm whether or not there had been an earthquake, but considering there had been a previous one this week, (which I hadn't felt), I thought perhaps it was likely and another girl where I was staying confirmed that she also felt the earth move.
So I survived a 4.1 Richter scale earth shattering event, and it felt pretty good, life affirming even.

I am not sure if Olmert felt it...he may have been in Annapolis already, hob knobbing with the worlds leaders...he makes me feel Palestinian...that is...like a people whose leader doesn't give a shit about them or their welfare, and he is content to sit around sipping tea with politicians while the society falls apart.
Do you know that movie tickets are only 10 shek now for high school students, because due to the high school teachers strike, they don't want kids running around so their solution is...we will drop the price of movie ticket prices so they will sit in the cinemas? HOw about a better solution...sort out the strike...maybe that didn't occur to anyone...

Meanwhile, as the earth moves from under my feet, the sky comes falling down and I guess I am Chicken Licken...running around, being a bit overdramatic about it all, complaining and at the end of the day, realising I don't control any of it anyway, the movements of the earth or the movements of the people who inhabit it.

Sigh. Well at least there are doughnuts (sufganiyot),which are appearing in every shop window...It's beginning to feel a lot like Chanukah.

ok now it's not a joke

2007-11-21T13:09:00.000-08:00

I may have understated my feelings previously so let me be clear as crystal now.
I am officially pissed off about the University professors striking.
Not only did they not ask my permission, but they didn't ask the permission of any student, and we are the ones that are being unfairly punished.
Will someone please do something.
We are all sitting here (earthquakes aside), waiting around, not having any idea if the semester is being cancelled, if we are going to ahve exams, if they are just going to pass us, if we are ever going to have the lectures to the subjects that we are enrolled for?
I sit here in Israel, in the midst of this Balagan, and as I prepare to vote in the Australian election this weekend, I was really effected by an add made by the Liberal party, on the radio:
'If you vote for labor there will be....transport strikes, nursing strikes and it seems ever other type of profession on strike....'.
Then I look around at my situation, and think, yeh strikes suck...I can relate to that.
I can't wait to vote.

Enough Already

2007-11-13T23:26:00.000-08:00

Not sure how many of you know that tehre are two strikes going on in Israel at the moment.
One of High school teachers and the other of University professors.
I for one am being profoundly affected by the University professors strike.
I set this time aside to study as opposed to working full time, which means I am effectingly losing money. I wouldn't mind if I was studying, but half my classes are not taking place and no one know what is going on. This time that I have put aside is being wasted.
The semester could be cancelled and then held during the holidays.
They could just pass us all without actually studying the subject.
It's all a big mess.
The latest announcemnet is that they are threatening not to give the professors their full pay for the time they ahven't been teaching which I guess they won't be happy with....in other words, they aren't any where close to resolving this issue.
The high school teacher strike is affecting families, and students who waon't eb able to take their final exams.
For sure I am on the teachers side, I am sure they get paid like crap and are undervalued, btu there must be some better way to negotiate this because it's really just enough already.
I am feeling annoyed, frustrated and upset, and there is nothing that I can do about it, Except write it here.

That Kafka Feeling?

2007-11-09T04:19:00.000-08:00

DO you know that kafka feeling?
Like you are the main character of 'The Trial", everyone around you seems on some sort of mission...like they know what's going on and you ahve no clue...
I had a few Kafka moments this week and they ahve been gnawing at me...
It all boils down to ulpan classes...A-FREAKIN-GAIN!
After like 14 years of Jewish education, 1 year off in Israel, multiple visits and a free ulpan upon making Aliyah, apparently I still don't have enough command of the language in order to study a Masters program and so I have to attend 6 hours a week of yet another ulpan in order to pass the Hebrew exemption exam at the end of my first year of study. Of course theses hours are at night, inconveniently located at Givat Ram, where the bus that stops right outside my house stops running from Givat Ram at 8pm and my class ends at 8:10pm.

Anyway on Monday night whilst I was trying to get a taxi, in the cold, of course no taxi is in site. I wait and wait and wait...eventually one taxi passes by, they ask where I am headed...I saw Emek Refaim, a busy aea where am sure they can get more business once they drop me off...and the taxi driver responds "I am not headed in that direction"....I slammed the door shut on him in a rage..."Why are you angry?" He ponders innocently...
"Because you are a TAXI SERVICE! I pay you to go in the direction that I want to go in!"
He laughs and drives off leaving me as a damsel in distress.

The next ulpan lesson is cancelled as the teacher is sick.
The next ulpan lesson I turn up to the teacher is still sick, however everyone in the class was notified not to attend except for me.
I walk into the classroom and there is no one there...no sound, no note on the board, nothing.
This is my kafka feeling of bewilderment and confusion.
I guess if it were a true kafka feeling, the classroom would have been filled with men looking at me ominously, telling me I am late and put on a chair at the frojnt to accuse me of a crime that neither I nor they are sure of....but I am taking the artistic liberty of expressing my frustration here and so I get to do whatever I want.

I am now going to have some chocolate. Benedick's mints to be precise.

Incognito

2007-10-31T12:18:00.000-07:00

I am now a student a Hebrew University...and proud.
This means I have a student number on top of my Israeli Identification Number which also differs from your passport number.
I have been given a Hebrew University email address, which I have to check because the course co-ordinator sends her emails to that address.
In order to access that email I was sent a 4 digit password which I then was allowed to change once I had logged on.
Everyone at my campus has a special campus access to computers account.
To log on to the campus computers, I needed my ISraeli ID and student number, and after that I could then choose my own password. Once logged on I was given yet another email account with a different address.
To get onto the library website, I needed to log on with my campus account, and then I had to register to the library so I could borrow, using my Israeli ID number.
To get access to the library from home, I had to fill out a form online and then I was given another username and I had to choose another password.
To take out a book, they needed my student card, even though I registeres with my Israeli ID number, they scanned the student card to check that I had registered.

I don't need another password. That I will inevitably forget.
Everyone knows my email address, which I ahd to write on my application anyway, so why do I need another. You are not making my life easier. You are making my life more annoying.

I think I am an anarchist in disguise. I'm on my usual rant about how much I hate systems, University in particular, and then it dawns on me, maybe I am just a plain old anarchist? How boring to have a label? I do like order though, I like things to work, I just hate systems of authority and beaurocracy. So how does that all fit together....ah what the hell, why not cause some trouble, what I really want is to see the whole thing go up in flames, I am out of the closet...I am an anarchist, but by my definition.

Strike

2007-10-27T08:54:00.000-07:00

I am pissed off...I have started University and the professors are on strike. As a consequence I only have half my classes, practically I think it means that these classes will ahev to be amde u some other time i.e. my holidays. I am not a happy camper.
I think that all this striking is just to show that Olmert can't run the country. If you want to make a point that's fine, but it annoys me when it cuts into my time....gggrrrrr.
Being a student in Israel means that you ahve the lovely experience of having everything to do with your course being a secret.

How do you enroll? It's a secret.
HOw do you get a student card? It's a secret.
WHere are your classes and when? It's a secret.
When are there exams? It's a secret.

Week 1 Health economics class, the teacher stands up and asks the question in relation to economics...'Why do you think I am standing here?' and I foolishly answer, "Maybe to help us?" the rest of the class laughs, the teacher looks at me as if I have come from some sort of crazy planet...it apparently was not the answer he was looking for..."Profit", it would seem would be the correct answer, because he is being paid to be there.

So I now have the pleasure of being a part of a higher education system..again..aaahh what joy!

Place

2007-10-19T07:18:00.001-07:00

I was in Sydney last week for Rebecca's wedding. We have been friends since I cut off all her hair when we were 3 years old. On the night of the wedding I house sat her house and slept in her bed. I had tried to plan my trip in order to maximise my time there and see all the people and places that I wanted to see. Rebecca's house had not been on the list but at the end of the day it was the place that I was happiest that I had visited.
Suddenly I was flooded with memories of sleep-overs, rabbits, dirty pools, excursions to Northbridge plaza, playing Club Keno, movies at Cremorne Cinema, Polski Orgorki pickles and more...
There was a period in yr 7/8 where we spent almost every Saturday night together...and now I had not been there in 2.5 years.
I woke at night, I couldn't sleep...perhaps I was jet lagged. I paced around the house, ret-tracing my steps from over 10 years ago...by myslef in the absence of her presence I heard our laughing.
Where was this new place that she is going to live?
When was the last time we played together at each other's houses?
Rebecca will you come over and play?

Israelisms

2007-09-27T09:58:00.000-07:00

I was looking for a seat on a good old Jerusalem Egged bus the other day.
Keeping in mind that there is sort of an unspoken rule that you just don't sit next to Haredi men on buses -
1) Out of respect of the whole religious men separate to women thing
2) Because they smell
3) Because it is slightly wierd when they try and rub up against you.
I surveyed the scene to find a space for myself.

On Egged buses they sometimes have the two seats facing two seats situation and inadvertently due to the above situation, there naturally forms same sexed seat grouping.

What was unusual about this particular trip was that I noticed that there was a male foursome like this but with one space missing and I really wanted to sit down.However instead of a Haredi male, the usual reason why I wouldn't join the group - there was an Armenian Monk. I briefly halted - what is the correct behaviour regarding an Armenian Monk? DO they interact with Women? Do they even talk? I realised how ignorant I am regarding Armenian monks and then I thought to myself - this is slightly bizarre that I am on a bus trying to decide whether or not it is ok for me to sit next to an Armenian monk - but also sorta cool!

I sat down next to the Monk - he didn't really flinch - he was too busy texting on his mobile phone in Armenian to notice my insignificant presence.

An Open Letter to Jewish Mothers from a Potential Daughter-in-Law

2007-09-19T09:23:00.000-07:00

I have noticed that the relationship between us can be a bit strained. I have thought a bit about why that is. Perhaps you feel that I am stealing your son from you. This however is the natural order of things. When you got married you also took away a son from a mother. I am a bit concerned about the state in which I am receiving your son, he seems to have a few issues. I thought about a few tips that maybe you could follow in order that we both feel a bit better about this whole situation.

The first is always the hardest, it is hard for you to admit things to yourself but this is basically the crux of the whole issue. One day your son is going to move out of your house. Moving out means that you should no longer offer to do his washing, he should be able to cook and fend for himself and also live more than 50 metres down the road. He should be independent and self sufficient, capable of looking after others as well.

Here are some ways to help you both prepare for this:
1) From the day he is born you should start saying to yourself that one day he will grow up, be a big boy and have children of his own. You should also mention this to him and at around the age of 18 you can start actively encouraging this by saying things like – do you have a steady girlfriend?
2) Teach him to put the toilet seat down
3) Teach him how to do his own washing
4) Teach him how to boil water and make simple things like toast and pasta
5) Take him shopping with you to the supermarket so he knows where the food in the fridge appears from
6) When he moves out, stop offering to do his washing for him and also tell his grandmother to stop doing this too.
7) When he moves out, don’t give him the number of a cleaning lady, give him a broom and tell him to use it.
8) Stop telling him he is the best thing since sliced bread, instead tell him that he would be lucky to find anyone that would want to be with him.
9) If he is 30 and still living at home then kick him out
10) If he is 40 and still doesn’t know how to cook – don’t expect me to date him

If you do all the above I will:
1) Make him call you on your Birthday

A Coca-Cola New Year

2007-09-10T13:40:00.000-07:00

Last night sitting around with friends...someone pointed out how cool it was that on the coke bottle it says Shana Tova. It is cool, it brings a familiar feeling back to you, it makes you feel like this is where you belong, that this is where you want to belong. Why? Because a major company's label recognises a holiday that is a part of you, it's in sync with your calendar too.
At the same time we discussed how nice it was to grow up in an environment where we asserted our beliefs as Jews like in a non-Jewish school where one girl was proud of her identity of being different and sticking up for it, instead of being brought up in a bubble where everyone was the same.
I recently had an encounter with someone who didn't want to hang out with me because I wasnt religious enough, I thought this was rather interesting because in Sydney I was always the religious one.
As I walk around the canyon and see all these girls on their year off to study here in seminary, they all look like a carbon copy of each other...I hope I look different.
So I start thinking about individuality, community, belonging and independant thinking, wondering how they all fit together, wondering where I am comfortable being.
I had a friend in Sydney who used to marvel at me..."Gila I just don't see where you belong?"...
Maybe that's because I belong here...that's what I'd like to think. Maybe I will drink diet sprite though instead of the main stream choice of coca-cola but it also has a Shana Tova label, so I think I will be ok.

No title

2007-08-31T06:53:00.000-07:00

Anyway...
I managed to get to one of those offices which are only oopen at the most inconvenient times for them to tell me that everything was ready except for the fact that I had not brought with me one particular document which they ahd not specified that I needed to bring which meant that the whole process would not be going ahead until I could return again at another really inconvenient time.
They apologised - sorry they forgot to mention it.
How was I meant to smell that I needed to bring it?
I am not sure...
I've played matchmaker 3 times this week...I hope they all work out, so I can go to heaven, that would be cool.
People have started to wish me Happy New Year...with a two week countdown...I am all excited for all my new plans and adventures, and I am happy to be here.

Oh so Quiet....!

2007-08-24T06:15:00.000-07:00

I guess I can owe the inspiration for this to Jonny, for pointing out how quiet I have been lately, to the point where I even had to reset some things on blogger in order to log in. This actually couldn`t be a busier time...I am getting a new flatmate, I am about to start a masters degree in Public health and Community Medicine in Hebrew - that is a true sign of insanity, if you were doubting before if I was crazy, now you can be sure. The thought of studying in Hebrew, makes me swing between excitement for the challenge to crises of self-confidence based on irrational thoughts, which are my specialty. Luckily I am doing it with a friend so we can struggle through it together...should be fun!

I am now pissed off because I can`t type a proper apostrophe, the button seems to be stuck on my computer...suddenly...and I cant figure out away around it so you are going to have to deal with the lack of apostrophes.
Ok, also I will be starting a new job...most likely, perhaps...lots of new things for the upcoming New Year, all is good.
Maybe I will throw in there a trip to Australia for a wedding and to see the family etc....

I want a car...despite the high rate of road accidents (google road accidents Israel if you are bored...there are a lot fo stats) and my driving record...If I am starting to study then I dont want to waste my time and also I want ot be able to actually see this country and do all these cool things...there are so many cool things to do. I love driving. I love to drive. I need a car. Anyone who wants to contribute to the buy Gila a car fund, please email me! (That includes my parents).

Did I write about the time I was stopped for J-walking? I was given a ticket for J-walking once and When I started to protest to the policewomanperson, I had already got out of a ticket once by claiming I didnt know the law because I was a new immigrant, and I knew I couldnt use that again because this was a while after I had made Aliyah...so anyway, the policewomanperson starts giving me a lecture about how ebcasue there has been so many road accidents they are crtacking down on J-walkers...and I am like that is the most retarded logic ever...why dont you crack down on people who are speeding...Most likely I would get a ticket for that as well and then complpain that they should dine someone else for that...but seriosuly I was so mad with her at the time...that policewomanperson needed to wear so looser pants so she didnt feel like there was something stuck up her...Me? Road rage?

There seems to be some sort of a migration towards tel-aviv...Im gonna miss some of my playmates like Ilana and Rob...they suck for deserting me in crazy Jerusalem. Everywhere change seems to be in the air, I think its great, I love change....

I noticed that Shufersal have started producing `green bags`...which is a source of much excitement for me, int he world of Israel moving forward in the whole re-cycling thing... I still miss having 5 bins.

I fixed the apostrophe thing, I took off the button and found piece of glass stuck there, from previously in the week when I broke a glass that I flung by mistake when I was sick in bed for 4 days...earlier on this week, I took the oportunity to start reading a book that I had been meaning to read in Hebrew, maybe it was becasue I was sick and delirious that it all was making sense, the point is though, I was managing to make sense of it...I used to get stickers from my music teacher whenever I could play upto a certain part of a really long piece, I feel like I deserve a sticker now, for getting into this book. (Purple Hibiscus - which translates in hebrew suprisingly to Hibiscus Ha-sagol).

OK...Shabbat Shalom...

Quotes totally out of context

2007-07-31T09:18:00.000-07:00

Step away from the vehicle.
Are you a happy camper? I am a Kneller's happy camper.
What country are you from? Remind me never to go there.
I don't recommend that....But can you recommend it? No.
Step away from the vehicle.
Thank-you for helping me.
Have you been using that? No. Why not? Um, they didn't tell me to do anything. Oh, What a shame.
If they unanimously decide to do it, it would cost nothing. 2 people are opposed.
Every little question is making you think.
Still being processed. 31/7, 30/07, 29/07, 28/07 - 30/06.
Let's start, ok I have to go now.

A Gila Moment

2007-06-30T11:15:00.000-07:00

A Gila moment is sort of like a 'minties moment'. I guess you could say it is when I do something that is potentially embarrassing but I think this is understating it. It is when something occurs that could literally have been taken out of a movie because it is so cliched and predictably stupid and hilarious.
I usually laugh my head off at how these things happen to me apparently all the time.
Also to be included are moments where I think everything is perfect but there are crucial pieces of information missing which I only find out later thereby creating some melodrama out of literally nowhere.
Or when I do something which I know is risky, I achieve my goal but out of nowhere it goes pear shaped but not for the reason I thought it would, rather something else out of the ordinary that had never entered my wildest dreams or imagination.
Of course I can't forget the moments where everything seems normal, has the appearance of being potentially normal but of course it just isn't due to circumstances beying my control.
I throw my hands up in the air and declare "These things only happen to me" and then fall over in a fit of laughter.

Now you're going to want an example.

On Friday I was in a bakery shop buying something sweet to eat for Shabbat. I oticed a cute guy. He was wearing a kippah (tick), he was tall (tick) and did I mention he was cute? (tick). Now for the final test due to previous Gila moments did he have a ring? I neede to check this out...so I was peering over at him, trying to organise it so he would get to the counter when I did...that didn't quite work out. I paid for my purchase and turned around to walk out taking one last glance over in his direction when I felt something hard against me...it was the window of course. I had walked into the glass panel thinking it was the door.

A friendly on looker said to me when I looked perplexed trying to understand why I couldn't get outside. "They're clean the windows aren't they?''. I of course was praying and hoping cute guy did not notice as I quickly gathered myself to get out of the shop ASAP and as I was running away 5 mins later I realise that I forgot my purchase behind so I had to return. I was completely bewildered but at the same time hysterically laughing. He really took my breath away...and what does wearing a ring on the middle finger mean?

Another Gila moment which I am trying to deal with was how is it possible that I awas stung by a bee, whilst at a public pool...at first it was really painful to the point that I had to stop sunbaking and vacate the premises. For the next 3 hours have ice stuck to it...now it is just swollen probably also due to the heat wave we are experiencing in Jerusalem at the moment and I think I am slowly losing feeling in the finger as blood supply is compromised by the swelling.

Ah the joys.

Which leaves me with

Q&Q

2007-06-19T11:28:00.000-07:00

The questions and questions that I really really hate and cannot deal with.
Where in America are you from?
Are you a Doctor?
Are you a Nurse?
Do you know anything?
No.

Mousetrap

2007-06-11T06:18:00.000-07:00

So anyway, I am back from Turkey and I have started work again. I think I am allergic to full time work. Everyone is really happy to see me - I am a bit indifferent.
In Turkey, in the airport there was all these signs about how the Armenians ae fabricating their genocide...it seemed a bit out of place in an airport.
We were on a trip in Ephesus - the 2nd largest ancient city, we noted that the brothel was situated opposite library with a tunnel linking them. At the end of our tour, the tour guide noticed that oen guy was missing. We waited at the arranged meeting point for ages, he didn't tun up. We made our way to the place where we were appointed to have lunch and apparently he had turned up there looking for us but then he left. The tour guide took a final roll call before we went back at the end of the day and when he got to this guy's name he said "David? David is Lost". I really hope he is safe somewhere in Turkey. It was actually a bit entertaining but tragic at the same time.

Back in Israel after dealing with greasy workmen who fixed our pipes in the apartment and also were just a bit slimy - there was no need for the demonstration on how he knows what pressure points are. Besides disturbing me, he also disturbed a mouse (rat according to Louise). After the intial freak out and locking myself in my room, I called Dave who looked on the internet about how to catch a mouse for me. After waiting some time in vain for the mouse to eat the chocolate in my devious plan I abondoned ship packed up and went to Susie. Luckily Wolf came and saved the day and now I hope our place is mouse/rat free.

I am a bit on edge.

12

2007-06-09T14:27:00.000-07:00

I have been tagged to list 12 reasons I love most about Israel/ 12 reasons why I made Aliyah. Usually I don't do these chain/tag things but I am feeling re-juvenated after just hearing a Drasha by Rav Benny Lau over Shabbat. Also after just coming back from Australia again, I went through the usual questioning and thought process why leave the Sydney?

1) It made no sense.

2) No one stopped me.

Do no Harm

2007-05-26T12:54:00.000-07:00

'The only place in Israel where one might guess that Arabs make up 20 percent of the national population, and where they coexist with Jews on a purely non-sectarian basis, is a hospital. There are a few other venues, notably universities, where Arabs work alongside Jews at both high and low professional levels, and where one might find an Arab boss giving orders to a Jewish subordinate, but the proportion of Arabs there is going to be small. A hospital, especially one in Galilee, the Negev or Jerusalem, is the only venue in this country where a foreigner who knew nothing about the Israeli-Arab conflict might spend time, then come away thinking that Israel is a country where a Jewish majority lives alongside a sizable Arab minority - and there is no problem between them'

- This is an quote from an artice found in this week's Jerusalem Post. As a health worker in an Israeli hospital, I have mentioned before my encounters with the wider Israeli population before and I often think about this gounding phenomenon...my conclusions:

Within the walls a hospital, I would like to believe that there is a certain respect for life. Our aim is to preserve life - there is a value placed on saving and caring for life. Outside the walls of a hospital I think people forget this value. They engage in behaviour which makes them think they are invincible. They do things not thinking of the consequences or effects that might occur and reverberations that might be felt in other people's lives...

The rest of the article can be found here:
http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1178708671867&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull

Welcome to the Club

2007-05-21T12:43:00.000-07:00

I would like to welcome Jonny to the blogosphere. A fellow veteran of Ulpan Etzion and Ruti's many pages of homework that only we did. He's a bit left, but I guess we're not all perfect and he's got some interesting things to say, so enjoy reading!

Did you know?

2007-05-19T15:08:00.000-07:00

Did you know that 13 Kssam Rockets fell on Sderot today?

Re-unification

2007-05-16T03:18:00.000-07:00

I have been re-united with my city, on a great day - Yom Yerushalayim. I'm eating humus again...yum yum. I really felt like I was back though when just now, on Emek, I ducked out to do some errands and the minute I left the house it started to rain and my luck started to run out. Of course, I slipped - and instead of offering help - the Israeli offered me his piece of advice, even though I of course did not ask him for it - "You know you shouldn't wear sandals in the rain!" - Thanks, thanks a lot. I have taken my sore bum home. I would insert here some gorgeous pics of my nephews and London, however, my camera was stolen...again. I'm not a happy camper.

Bad Habits

2007-05-11T00:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I read in a little touristy book 'London is a bad habit one doesn't want to lose', so I am currently indulging my bad habits.
One of them being London...the other being collecting goodbyes.
London is so dreary that it almost takes the fun out of taking black and white photos as it's all grey already...yet stimulating... and that's all you need for creating an addiction.

Byronian

2007-04-23T04:54:00.000-07:00

A few pics to make you jealous of what it's like to hear the sea...have a Day Spa and just spend the day going on photo expeditions!

On being peripatetic

2007-04-15T23:33:00.001-07:00

I thought I was being really observant as I drove down City Road and noticed all the different permutations of Thai restaurant names and thought how ridiculous it was but apparently while I have been in Israel this has already been picked up on by the yellow pages:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Eqqk3J7IpY

I have also noticed an explosion of Home Wares shops where you can buy lots of things which are meant to make living at home easier as well as sea shells.

If you want to you can hear me rant and rave about languages and business cards but it's probably just easier and less painful to give me a glass of wine and tell me about your Byron Bay experience as I plan mine....

Latest Pics from Sydney

2007-04-05T00:18:00.000-07:00

I guess since I am on holiday there is no reason why you can't feel like you are on holiday too!
Today was a perfect day...A picnic in Camp Cove with My Mum, Roni and Her Mummy!
Yishai (Bubbles) was really cute at the seder...When it came to Mah Mishtanah we said to him "Yishai do you want to sing us a song?" and he replied "Ok...Baa Baa Balck Sheep have you any wool?"...it was hilarious.
So I could upload all my photos and go through that boring process or you can just click here if you care to see 'em.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=12134&l=ecdc6&id=528360581

MTV and all that jazz...

2007-03-22T23:43:00.000-07:00

Now I am heaps pissed off that I lost my Camera! Whilst in attendance of a cool private MTV party thanks to having friends in all the right places (aka Deb "wisecrack" Wiseman), I had an opposrtunity to pick out some of the latest fashion mistakes of the 'ultra cool'. I really really wish that I could have put up here a pic of this chick in silver tights - no mini - just silver tights - which is just all wrong.

The pole dancers that were for extra entertainment who were wearing leotards that became a thong - literally a pain in the ass to look at and should be fined visual disturbance to the public.

As Deb explained to me the secrets of 'Or What?' I noticed that due to being a MTV party there were the Muso crowd who were clearly derived from those alternative rock people in High School who went around wearing ACDC and Metallica T-Shirts to be all rebellious...but why are they still wearing them in their mid 20's with tight jeans sitting way too low so they can't be called hipsters and displaying way too much of their derriere...ass crack is yet another fashion mistake...

What was even more disturbing though was the dude who flashed us his mobile phone - on the background wallpaper was the statement "Smile if you want wild Sex" - we kept a straight face because that was truly pathetic - but then we cracked up because it was just so pathetic - we really didn't want to give him the benefit of laughing at his patheticness but it being us together...it was all over red rover as we "ROFL'd".

All in all, it was fun to hob knob with the adveritising crew and oogle at all of the industry people trying and failing to dress themselves when they get out of bed....try again...yes...try again.

The Music was Loud.

Thanks Deb...It's great to be around someone that can tell me to stop being a bitch with all the love in her heart!

Mmmmm Lamingtons!

2007-03-20T14:25:00.000-07:00

Well I am back in Sydney for a visit to the family/Pesach/ Weddings/ Bar Mitzvah's etc. I hvae been quite jet lagged which has been annoying! It gets worse and worse every time I fly...so the prospect of doing this back and forth thing for the rest of my life ain't so glamorous!

Above is Bondi Beach and a pic of Deb and I on our way via Ferry to the reception for Rachelle's wedding...which was gorgeous as predicted!

I went shopping with my Mum yesterday and we were discussing whether or not the item I was thinking of purchasing was suitable for Israel or not. The Shop Assistant inquired about where I was living overseas and when I replied "Israel" he exclaimed "Crikey! Why would you wanna live there?". I hadn't heard "Crikey" in an Aussie accent for ages...it sounded good!

Stay tuned for more correspondance from Down Under!

Purim...fun times

2007-03-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

Stranger than Fiction

2007-02-20T23:03:00.000-08:00

Last year around August time I went to hear Etgar Keret speak about his books. He commented that he liked to write about the beach in Israel because he feels that is where society seems to come together.
Something about that comment I couldn't digest.
When I reviewed my recent experiences at the beach in Israel in Herzliya: while I sat there getting a tan, Israeli fighter pilots were on their way to Lebanon. I pondered what they must have been thinking looking down at us...were they proud that they were going to protect us? Or did they think we were lazy?
I didn't feel a sense of unity.
I put it in the too hard box.
I have this virtual box of experiences in my head where storage of encounters that for some reason do not make sense get thrown.

That thought is in the company of the whole disengagement experience. We still discuss today whether it was right to disengage so we have fixed borders or wrong to forcible remove families from their homes. I had a conversation with someone just last week about how he would be happy to give up East Jerusalem if it meant a safe border...he didn't know how he would get to Mount Scopus when I questioned him about that...but the theoretical seemed to have much more power than the practical impact...

The last case of cognitive dissonance occured recently with the clashes in the Old City on the Temply Mount by Al Aqsa Mosque. I sat literally 10 mins down the road on Emek in a cafe with friends for breakfast, the street was buzzing with activity as per usual on a Friday morning pre-Shabbat. I came home and switched on the TV to my surprise I find a world event unfolding literally beneath my nose. Except I wasn't actually there. I was not in the thick of things. I was 10 minutes away. Which means that although I could hear shooting if I stood by Yemin Moshe at the windmill and looked over towards the walls of ancient stone it did not really matter because, it was also something happening on the news and not in front of my eyes. It looked violent on TV. It looked like the country was in a state of war - not like everyone else was carrying on trying to be normal despite political disturbances. Does that make me safe? Does that make it ok? Does that mean I am doing enough?

The Ball...2nd time around

2007-02-12T05:07:00.000-08:00

Granted I noticed 1 person wearing what they wore last year...I think that people looked pretty good...and this is the best pic I have of my dress, mainly because I left my camera behind, BY MISTAKE NOT ON PURPOSE (I hope you read that Mum), on the table.

Now on a different note, my friends or rather Ilana, has pointed out to me that I can not estimate the age of guys to save my life..so I thought I would put this to the global test...how old do you think the guy in the picture is?

The Jewish Prince

2007-02-07T10:52:00.000-08:00

The problem with the Jewish Prince (besides that his mother still has him on a leash), is that when you kiss him, he turns into a frog and jumps away.

I think I am done with swimming in the little pond...

I think I am gonna go somewhere where there are plenty more fish...

The one great thing about natural selection is that nature has entrusted me with an important role. It has become apparent that some frogs should never be allowed to pro-create, luckily I have been bestowed with the task of picking and choosing, which begs the question... Who will be the fittest to survive my test?

Ideology vs Ambition

2007-01-28T12:54:00.000-08:00

This is a monologue I have been having with myself and I guess a dialogue I have been initiating with others that has been background noise in my thoughts for quite a while, but was recently thrown to the limelight when I was asked the question at a party:

"Would I move to London, or would I scrape off hairs from the toilet bowl in the central bus station in Jerusalem?"

When I answered the question emphatically, "Move to London", I was informed that I am not Zionist.

Hmmm, I think to myself, here I am standing in Jerusalem thousands of miles away from my family and friends that I grew up with, and this person has the audacity to call me unzionistic - because by his standards, I would leave the country if the only work available to me is a cleaner. It bothered me that this person was willing to criticise me when he knows nothing about the contributions that I have made towards promoting Israel as I was growing up and merely the fact that I am standing and I am here living in Israel as he makes this comment to me I found to be quite offensive. I know he was saying it for a reaction and here's my reaction.

I'm sorry I think I can make a larger contribution to society on top of just existing here.
I'm sorry that I actually want to use my degree...and I am really proud of the fact that I have made Aliyah and I work in an Israeli environment, in my profession...a statement that not every Oleh can claim....because at the end of the day it is really hard, Israel is a developing country and it's economy reflects this...

At the crux of this is the issue I feel is that people who live here have made sacrifices to be here and have essentially placed ideology as the major priority. People die in order to live here and defend the country, which means emotions are running high and they get defensive...I am trying to understand this position. I think people sometimes see the grass as greener on the other side. Israel has a tough economic status and when you hear how successful your friends are doing and the opportunities that they have that you perhaps don't, perhaps you might feel that you are missing out and therefore need to make a statement about how fulfilled you feel you are,because you 'just exist here'.

I love Israel and I think it's really cool to be here but I grew up in an environment where I had a good education, and where all my friends went to University. Aspiring to achieve something great, realising your potential and giving your best was a culture ingrained into my identity. Hand in hand with this in my home life, Israel was always discussed at the dinner table, updates on the political situation were always going on, the Jerusalem Post and Jerusalem report were delivered to our doorstep and intellectual articles about the 'the matsav' were always lying around the coffee table.

It has everything to do with priorities Ideology vs Ambition.
For me I am quite comfortable to say that I would not be happy just living here. Ideology is a major priority of mine and I have placed it very high up there on my list, but I can not ignore my other internal desire, - the ambition to achieve something for myself on top of my address and post code. I think people underestimate this internal struggle and do not give enough credit to the toll this struggle creates within the soul.

So yes I would leave if there were no career prospects for me - and I don't think this makes me 'un-zionist' I think it makes me a balanced person. I would feel really degraded if all I could do was clean a toilet. While some people might find this insulting - and I apologise to them - for me it's what enables me to got to sleep at night... you know....success...

For me, Ralph Waldo Emerson encapsulates this - 'to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded' - I know for myself I have taken a very literal interpretation, but that is what resonates with me. I know how I am measuring things is not how others do, and for the person who would prefer to clean the toilet and just exist here, he may be feeling personally fulfilled, but I guess I have an 'Alpha Female' side to me and I really can not relate to the 'Omega', call me a snob but I will always view this person as beneath me.

Flower Power

2007-01-26T05:23:00.000-08:00

Today is Australia day...I was walking past the flower shop...nostalgic...thinking I guess no one else is going to buy me any (except for that mysterious incident see previous blog DMCTJYM)...I noticed some colourful poppies, even though they weren't in 'green and gold', I decided to purchase them anyway...and now as I think of the sunburnt country...I look at my 'tall poppies' waiting to be cut down to size.

For further explanation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tall_poppy_syndrome

Fried Green Tomatoes

2007-01-13T09:28:00.000-08:00

I had coffee with a mere male the other day. He ordered a ‘Local Salad’ from Café Hillel. It comes with Smoked Salmon and other general salad staples including tomatoes. By the end of the time allocated to our sorti – I noticed that he had left all the tomatoes on the side.
I questioned “Do you not like tomatoes?”
He responed “No, I don’t really care for them. Do you?”
I replied automatically “I love them with basil, for example in Bruschetta.”

I had a flash forward of my life without tomatoes: In summer the thought of not serving Gespatcho soup for Shabbat Lunch was outrageous. What about Sun-Dried Tomatoes on the Anti-Pasto plate at Pesach? Tomatoe salad for Shabbat lunch. Minnestrone soup in Winter. Tomatoe Sauce with potatoe wedges. Tomoatoes in Israeli salad. Fried tomatoes with an omelette on a Sunday morning….Tomatoes in pasta sauce! The list goes on…

It was at this precise moment that I realised that it’s never ever gonna work out with this guy…I think we will always be friends but…

Even though I had waited 4 months for him to come to Israel to see me, and I had said no to any other relationship in the meantime.
Even though when he offered me NO support last week when I was sick and my grand-mother had died.
Even though he had said to me that he was too immature for a commitment, when I had never even mentioned the word.
Even though I believed him when he said he would miss me.
Even though I can’t believe he is only down the road but I know he won’t come over and give me a hug when I need it.
Even though he has never played the ‘Yichus’ game with me (similar to jewish Geography but you try and out do the other person by stating who is the oldest famous/respected Rebbe that your family is related to)
Even though he has done everything to make me hate him in the past week.

It dawned on me that we are just not meant for each other because if he doesn’t eat tomatoes, I guess he just isn’t a real man…(How would we travel Italy?).

For all those conversations that I have to suffer through alluding to the fact that I don’t have a boyfriend perhaps because I really have horns or I am an alien or something…at least I can now say that it is because I can’t be seen with someone who can’t eat tomatoes.

I guess it’s one of those personal hashgafot that you don’t realise is not negotiable until it unfolds in front of your eyes…

It's Mabo, it's the Constitution, it's the vibe.

Generation to Generation

2007-01-06T07:38:00.000-08:00

I am so sorry I will not be there to say good-bye, to hold your hand and be with you.
Even with my absence, I hope that my presence will give you strength; you always say that I am just like her - obstinate, determined and independant. I know that because of decisions she made, I am here today and I am appreciative.

G-d, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Welcome to Lou

2006-12-30T11:55:00.000-08:00

A Big Welcome and Mazaltov to
Lou
Who has recently made Aliyah (Woohoo!) Respect! and may the force be with you...She has also recently moved into my apartment which is now our apartment and is officially my new flatmate....
She said to me that instead of "Google"ing new people she is going to "Gila" them...I like her.

It was Snowing

2006-12-30T10:39:00.000-08:00

Well apparently there's more than one use for the squeegee thing that you use in the kitchen to clean the countertops - you can use it to get teh snow off the windscreen of a car!
Where was I during the downfall? Inside my favourite place - work of course - I was on call yet again...the taxi requested 150 shek! to take me home...instead a sweet lady gave me a tramp home in her 4WD...much better!

Queues, Cartography, Language Barriers and British (NOT ENGLISH!) arrogance.

2006-12-24T14:56:00.000-08:00

Queues
I am standing line what looks nothing like a line, in order to get into a bus headed towards Ranana in order to light Chanukah candles. I am being screamed at by a randomite Israeli woman because she is claiming that I am pushing her “Can’t you see the line?” she says in Hebrew amongst other things, I felt like saying “No I can’t see the line, this looks nothing like a line, this is so far from a line that it might as well be a circle, but I really truly do not feel the necessity to argue, because I know that we will all get on the bus, I can see there is room and if I am gonna pick a fight over this, then really, I will have to start pushing people, and I just can’t do that”.

Then I started thinking about Israeli attitudes to lines and queues and the general habit of pushing in and claiming your space and how this might translate to larger concepts. If this is what the common Israeli considers a well ordered queue then what do they consider a well ordered border?

Cartography
In my studies of Israeli history, I know that I can really blame the British for the current borders of Israel, they just seemed to have some need to draw these straight lines throughout Africa and divide land on maps using a ruler. While this is all well and good, when looking at a modern day map of the west bank, you will notice that Israeli Arab, Palestinian and Jewish villages are all dotted in between each other, and the concept of drawing a straight line, wall or border in the area is near impossible. Borders are now looking more and more like squiggles…since we are side by side already. What is stopping this co-existence from being a peaceful reality?

My thoughts jump to populations that we do peacefully co-exist with such as Christians. I am currently going through a Christian phase. I am really fascinated, about how this religion spread so far without internet, when if you look down at the nitty gritty it makes not a lot of sense (to me anyway, looking from a Jewish perspective). Whilst in our past we have crusades, lack of acknowledgement and apologies – Today Christians live side by side with Jews in Israel. They can observe their festivals, have access to all their holy sites which we can see as well and I have. The Jerusalem Municipality in conjunction with JNF gave out free Christmas trees. There is a Christian edition of the Jeruslaem Post and I generally get the feeling that they do whatever they want and we do whatever we want, we peacefully co-exist.

A few weeks ago I visited the Monastery of the Cross. It is built on the site where the tree that was used to make Jesus’s cross grew. The story behind this special tree involves Lot planting a tree as an act of repentance after sleeping with his daughters it was believed if the tree grew he would be forgiven. Here is a story based on people who are in my heritage as well, but where is the truth? Here I am standing in this old building looking at a piece of ground where some tree used to grow, which now has these beautiful mosaics and building surrounding it and it means something to someone – so what is really important out of all of this?
I feel like the common ground here, is we both believe in something, that is guiding our lives and this gives us common respect for each other. I might believe that my path is the correct one, but here we are, passionate people, creating communities, celebrating life and that is what is important…as much as they might be mutually exclusive, the are interconnected because we are side by side, doing it together and it makes me happy to see that this is in fact possible.

Language Barriers
Then I start thinking about the borders between people. In Australia, you can not treat a patient in the hospital unless they understand what exact treatment they are receiving. There must be a translator present. In the hospital here, it is my fault if I do not speak their language. When previously musing about being arrogant because I expected signs in Spain to be in English, I translate that to my experiences in the hospital. I am proud that I have picked up words in Russian and Arabic, in order to treat people. Now all I need is Persian, Kurdish and Yiddish. The thing about language is it opens up an entire culture.
A friend of mine was commenting to me how her new parents in law, laugh at the language that her new husband and her have created between Hebrew and English. At first he spoke to English now they speak Hebrish. It’s about meeting half way, it’s about putting in an effort.
When I mentioned that in the hospital most Israel-Arabs understand Hebrew, but most Israeli’s do not speak Arabic, and maybe we should learn it more since it is a national language I was put in my place at the Friday night dinner table and the argument was purely based on numbers…there are more Jews than Arabs, so who cares that it’s a national language..they have to deal, I think perhaps the idea being communicated is “If they treat me badly, why should I have to put in the effort to understand who they are”.
At first I did not put in the effort to learn the words I needed in the different languages and thought to myself, look, they have to learn the Hebrew, but then I slowly came around because, it’s me that wants to communicate the message, so it’s my responsibility to communicate it effectively.
At the end of the day, I think that if there has to be an effort on both sides to communicate, but we need to create a language of our own so there is some common ground between us, if we can not speak, if the lines of communication are not open, then a relationship has no hope.

British Arrogance
I was recently informed by an English man that I should never call him British because it would be like calling me Australasian and how would I like that?…Who cares? Well he does. He cares so much about being English that he can’t sit through one conversation about Australia. He can not put in any effort to learn anyone’ else’s language and I pity him, because the common thread through all of this is arrogance. If you think that you are better than someone else, if you think that you know better, if you think you deserve to be treated in a certain way and forget the rest, then there really is no point in interacting with larger society.

So my friends…don’t sweat the small stuff…choose your fights carefully…if “land is the only thing worth fighting for” (Gerald O ‘Hara – Gone With the Wind) then I think someone needs to get off their moral high horse and onto the ground and experience what everyone else is experiencing until they see that perhaps they are not so special, perhaps we are all equal. If you want to peacefully co-exist with someone then you need to put in the effort to break down the barriers, pay attention to your neighbor and create your own language between yourselves. I can see that Israel as a country is capable of this and this is what makes me proud to live here, but sometimes I wish that individuals who reside inside heeded this message.

Ain’t Gonna Work on Saturday

2006-12-11T09:30:00.000-08:00

As I walked the halls of my hospital last Friday night, I have flashbacks of Bnei camp singing a good old propaganda song …Ain’t Gonna Work on Saturday…Ain’t Gonna work on Saturday…Double Double Triple Pay…etc
I guess I never listened well enough or perhaps the propaganda failed or I should have stood firmer ground, but nevertheless here I am, all clad up with my stethoscope hovering over a poor soul in ICU and I’m thinking to myself, I can’t get this stupid, stupid song out of my head.
It’s just not a normal feeling to be working on Shabbat…or am I feeling slightly guilty that I am getting driven around by an Arab taxi driver so I am can be here? Or because I have to ask one of the Arab ‘writers’ to sign that I have seen a patient? What would we do without these Arabs?
The daughter of one of my patients informs me that her Nephew is one of these ‘writers’ he is going to be a Dr, he has been accepted by every medical school in Israel and he just has to choose…..I guess that’s a rise in status from ‘Katvan to Rofeh’ (writer to Doctor).
On my way home, the Arab driver says to me ‘You’re from Australia….Oh, I tell you, it doesn’t matter where you are from…we are all human beings’.
In contrast to my ride home yesterday after being on call yet again:
The taxi driver put on the metre, I was falling asleep and not paying attention to where he was going, suddenly I realised he was going all the way around and about Jerusalem and so I opened my mouth to complain and he nearly has a fit and says “You don’t live here, you don’t know the streets, this is the way to go, you think I am a thief, here I will take you home for free, but you need to learn, you don’t live here” I tried to argue, I tried to say this is my home too….but he was adamant that I need to learn.
Can I complain about my job? Even if come February it may no longer exist and so I will probably look back on working on Saturdays and being on call 4 days in a row as a blessing…How do positions just suddenly no longer exist because someone somewhere decided..?
Yeah I’m having one of those crises again where I don’t know what I’m doing, my independence is being threatened and I am waiting for someone to tell me what to do…even though I know that person is me…

Meanwhile there are what appear to be Christmas lights on Emek and Doughnuts in the window of Tal Bagels. Seasons are changing and it feels like I am waiting for something to happen…yet on so many levels it feels like something already did.

Epilogue

2006-12-06T13:19:00.002-08:00

I passed my test. All those people on the street who have taken to stopping me and commenting about how I run people over can stop now.

Don't you love Sydney

2006-11-26T21:06:00.000-08:00

Funny...my mum told me the other day that she thinks I should come back to Sydney jsut becuase I miss the shopping..."it's really surprising that you don't miss anyone at all, but you miss the shopping". I thought about that for a moment...maybe it's true...maybe I am romantisizing though...as I stumbled upon this email I received about 2 years ago, I realised that maybe we alwyas complain about the place we live, and only really appreciate it when we leave it...

LOVE SYDNEY BECAUSE:
1. You can make over $100,000 per year and still can't afford a house.
2. You never bother looking at the train timetable because you know the drivers have never seen it either.
3. You order organic fruit and vegetables online, but eat out every night anyway.
4. You spend more money on your coffee machine than on your washing machine.
5. You spend $400+ per week for your room in an apartment with stunning harbour and beach views and European appliances; and spend a total of forty hours a week there, of which thirty seven are spent sleeping.
6. You contemplate calling a taxi from your home to where you managed to park your car the night before
7. You spend thirty minutes in a traffic jam next to a car that has more power going to its speakers than its wheels.
8. You know everyone's e-mail and mobile number but not their last name or
home address.
9. You can roll sushi, make pasta and keep your red curry paste recipe under lock and key... but couldn't roast a chicken to save your life.
10.Your taxi driver was a micro-surgeon before he emigrated to Australia.
11.Your co-worker tells you he/she has eight body piercings but none is visible.
12.You can't remember... is dope illegal?
13.You've been to more than one baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

Driving Miss Daisy

2006-11-16T23:51:00.000-08:00

I used to think it was a compliment that Natalie Shell used to say “Gila, can get anywhere in Sydney in 15 mins”, I thought it was a cute re-interpretation of Andy Warhol, just Gila style. Apparently she was not comparing my driving to the creation of a new and unique genre of seeing and experiencing the world – but rather trying to emphasise my need for speed.

For those who have been here from the beginning, you might remember that on the day that I made Aliyah, I was meant to appear in court, in order to defend my need for speed but instead I caught the plane to fulfill my Zionist dream – now that is dedication and sacrifice right there. Yes I admit I lost my license temporarily in Sydney, but time has passed and it was re-instated. I really feel that as a person who used to spend a minimum of 3 hours a day in a car, odds were that at some point I was going to come in contact with those Blue Heelers.

As a part of the absorption progress I am required to pass a driving test here. This is understandable, and fair. I don’t mind cause they do drive on the right hand side instead of the left (the correct way to drive). I have 3 years to change it over, most people did this while at Ulpan…I think I was too busy absorbing Israeli culture that I didn’t get a chance…I decided however that it has to be done. even though I will probably enver own a car here.

I went for lessons – 5 of them which is you know being on the safe side. Everyone knows that driving here is crazy. It’s all for one and one for all. So I was rightfully nervous. Truthfully it’s a bit weird – you’re not allowed to check your blindspot. The windscreen wiper thing is where the indicator should be, so I would keep on switching that on instead of indicating. There’s now a whole car on your right hand side, which you have to be careful about. I knew all of this and I absorbed it.

The day of the test arrived. I prayed that it wouldn’t rain so I would not have to negotiate between the indicator and the windscreen wipers. My driving examiner entered the car – he curled up on the front seat and made a few twitching movements that made him look like he had Turrets syndrome. I was driving really well – indicating, keeping to the right, checking my mirrors. Then came the traffic circle (roundabout, whatever). I approached at the appropriate speed, I entered it safely, and then you obviously wanna get out of the circle because cars are going to be coming behind you , but here they geniously have pedestrian crossings just before and after the circle which means if you were to stop it would be in the middle of the circle. Needless to say, I guess that little girl might have died if the examiner hadn’t of braked for me – but I think my failure was all her fault.

I never fail things. I am feeling very miserable.

The words of encouragement I received from loved ones included:
“You Loser”
“You obviously didn’t take enough lessons”
"Well you better not fail next time” and
“I would never have let you drive in Israel anyway”

Where is the love and support? I clearly could use some of that at the moment. You’d think that friends and family would be there for me in a time like this. I am really very disappointed and not in a good mood.

The even bigger problem is I can’t even do retail therapy cause there is just nothing even close to Oxford St here…just makes me more depressed. I need a coffee.

Halloween

2006-11-07T11:17:00.000-08:00

I guess you can tell that I am procrastinating, when I decide to update my blog. Yes I have my first presentation in hebrew for work and I kinda don't wanna think about it...as for being Pagan...It was really just an excuse for a party...and it was a real party with paramedics and everything! I am trying to figure out why Ilana thought it would be scary to come dressed as me, but I think I will just let that one slide...
My thoughts drifted to thinking of eerie things last week to get into the mood...and witches names for some reason were popping into my head. I came up with the name Hephtsiba...and as it turned out the girl that I went to for Friday night, her name was Hephtsibah...wierd...
I always think that Haruki Murakami would freak out if he came to Israel with all the cats that are around... it would be like walking into some sort of freakish dream for him...I think he would lose control...I'd like to see it.
That's it for random Halloween related thoughts I think.

On Being Adult

2006-10-24T07:52:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I hurt people. Sometimes I just don’t have enough time to talk to someone, or I’m at work and I can’t take the call from overseas and I feel guilty because I can’t be there for everyone when they want me to be. People ask me for advice, and I try to give it, without any professional qualifications (the audacity?). I return to work and I feel guilty because I am not sure if what I am doing is making a difference. Sometimes I know what to do, but I don’t have the energy to figure out how to do it so I go and get a coffee. Sometimes people complain about what I do, or my lack of doing. Sometimes they say thank-you and give you chocolate. I try - you can't save them all - but if atleast one life has breathed easier....
This is not an episode of Grey’s Anatomy.
This is my life.
If having free choice is what makes you a human;
Living with your choice and facing the consequences, fighting with your soul to reconcile that what you did was right and for the best, being polite to someone who does not deserve it, despite how they have treated you - This is what it means to be adult.
All the rest is animal behaviour.

The State of the Nation

2006-09-29T06:16:00.000-07:00

I spent 70 shek last night trying to get out of Jerusalem and I failed. I literally sat on a bus for an hour but there was so much traffic that we just sat there on the road not moving. It was very frustrating. I started talking to the person sitting next to me, and eventually she knew my entire life story which actually didn’t really take so long to tell. It got to that awkward point where now you have exchanged pleasantries, you know that you don’t really want to keep talking but since you are stuck on a bus sitting next to each other, the ice has been broken and so now it’s rude not to acknowledge the other person’s presence So you have to talk, which was also annoying. Luckily the friend I was meant to meet was very understanding of my predicament and based on her advice, I got off the bus, Maybe I was just a bit even more frustrated because I am sick of this conversation which I am translating into English;

“Tell me your Hebrew isn’t exactly 100%, Where are you from? America?”
“No, I am from Australia”
“Aaaah Australia! It is my dream to go to Australia! It’s very far away!”
“ I Know, it’s at the end of the world and then left.”
“Tell me? Why would you leave Australia? Isn’t life easier there?”
“Well I am a Zionist! I guess for the same reasons that you stay in Israel and don’t move there, I have come here.”
“ But, where is your family?”
“They are all there.”
“You are alone? You are crazy! Why would anyone want to leave Australia to come here?”

I guess this conversation always leaves me slightly disconcerted. Maybe, because it forces me to question? Maybe, because I am not so happy with my answer? I reflect a bit more and realize that it is neither of those things…Maybe I just don’t want to be called crazy within the first minute of meeting someone, and have them pass negative judgement on a major life decision of mine…..no I’m not angry…I was angry when on my first day of work, I had to introduce myself to everyone and when I said I made Aliyah (go/rise up to Israel) last year, someone replied…What nonsense! You didn’t rise up to anything!...Maybe I just wish that the people that lived here, had a bit more pride. I guess I feel that these statements that they make are tinged with their personal disappointment in their experiences here…Maybe that is me passing my own personal judgement on them…I’d like to think that I am misjudging their motivation, but I don’t think I am, I almost feel like they are projecting the thought 'Are you not grateful for all the opportunities that you had in Australia that we never received here and never will?' perhaps this is stretching it..I don't know.... However, for me having changed my life to be here having to have this conversation on a regular basis and re-iterating these thoughts on a regular basis…this makes me feel a bit I dunno….duller.

On the whole Rosh Hashana thing…I was really surprised at how good it felt for my soul to be inside Shule. It was almost like I had been yearning to be there…It was a mixed feeling of being comfortable and relief and it was also surprising…My driving teacher in between screaming at me to watch out for the right…(it’s really weird having a whole car on the right hand side of you), also asked me to pray for him on Yom Kippur…He will be busy playing computer games…I replied that it won’t matter cause G-d still knows that he has been a bad person…he wasn’t impressed…he went quiet…oh well…maybe I should have thought before I said that out a loud.

I’m listening to Holly Throsby…Things Between People.
I’m reading A Nicaraguan Journey by Salman Rushdie because I saw my sister reading it once, and sometimes I feel like if you read the same books that other people read maybe you share some of the same thoughts as those people because the same words have passed through both of your headspaces…and you share that…an almost tangible type of reality when other things are missing…like her presence in the apartment around the corner.

Talking of presence….The other Friday night someone saw a ghost in my apartment. A little boy carrying a plate of food that slid into the dining room…the guest sitting next to him heard it too…I heard a rumour that ghosts don’t exist in Israel. I wasn’t really scared, but I want to know what he’s doing in my house…and if he wants to live here, maybe he should pay part of the rent, since it is a good location and all.

Shana Tova

2006-09-22T04:26:00.000-07:00

As I muse over the past year and all my achievements, I think the thing I am most proud of is learning my Teudat Zehut number off by heart in Hebrew and English.
Peace and Love to you all far over the ocean....